What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? UK
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Education
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Experience junkie
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 25-ish?
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
A Pint of Piss
How long ago did this hookup happen? Three weeks ago
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him at a music festival I played at. These things are always an intense few days and we were both off our faces for most of it, so a lot of the memories I have are hazy and hard to order. I couldn’t exactly miss him though, he was six foot five and towered awkwardly over everyone in the backstage bar talking to one of my pals. He was all angular modesty and cheekbones, haunted almond eyes and long lashes. “Who’s your hot mate?” I asked my pal after he’d moved on. Eventually through accident or design, our paths crossed. I can’t even remember how it came up but it turned out he was bisexual. You don’t meet many dudes willing to admit to even a bit of heteroflexibility so I liked this guy already. Very quickly we were talking out some intense fantasy involving me strap-on fucking him whilst he sucked another guy off, whispering it to each other in a crowded backstage bar while my bf was standing about three feet away, oblivious. We gravitated towards each other all weekend even though he seemed to know literally everyone at the festival. His humour was dark and appealing – a few times I could tell he was trying to shock me and I saw his delight when he knew he hadn’t managed it.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We’re both in LT relationships and live at opposite ends of the country so I knew meeting in secret would be difficult. Neither of us felt sexually fulfilled with our partners. After the festival we Whatsapped for a month or so talking about fantasies and furiously masturbating at each other. His band were coming to my nearest city so he asked me to keep the date free. When the day came I was there waiting outside the venue whilst they were stuck in traffic like some fangirl.
He’d already told me he wanted me to piss in his mouth. I’d never really been into piss before but inspired by a Dominatrix I’d been to see I told him he’d be drinking my champagne. I’d only really played submissive before now but he seemed to be bringing out a pleasurable dominant streak in me that I hadn’t even known was there. I was excited and nervous and the nerves annoyed me because I was supposed to be in charge. It didn’t matter really though because the second the rest of his band left their dressing room he reached over to me with one of his long arms. I’d sat on his face before he’d even got round to re-stringing his bass. Afterwards he offered me a beer and rolling his tongue around his mouth thoughtfully he told me about “the lovely taste of vagina.” Men who talk about their love of taste and smell get me going. It turns that lifetime of internalised social disgust women feel about their own bodies on its head. Any self-consciousness melts away. In over a decade together my bf has never told me he likes how I taste.
I watched his band. I found them pretty unremarkable but was so focused on what was going to happen after that I doubt I would have absorbed much anyway. I downed two pints of water while they were on and as soon as he finished playing he came straight over. I gave him a hard stare and told him I needed to piss, like right now. He already had the van keys in his hand.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I’d never pissed in anyone’s mouth before. Turns out it can be quite difficult. We folded his six-and-a-half foot frame into the the back of their van and he was licking me front and back as soon as I lowered myself over his face. This was a man who liked eating pussy. However the sensations from his tongue and the odd position and that stagefright that a person sometimes gets when attempting a bodily function in front of another meant I failed pretty miserably. But it never stopped being fun. We were talking, laughing – I managed to squeeze some out here and there and the noises he made.. low groans in the back of his throat, muffled as my pussy filled his mouth but just the sound of someone getting OFF. And he was drinking it, literally drinking me – a few drops or a little stream and I could feel him suck and lap it up and hear him swallow. Eventually he pulled my mouth towards his and as I squatted over his chest dripping piss and pussy juice on to his shirt I could taste all my different fluids on him. I licked salty piss off him all the way down to the tattoo on his throat, to the space behind his ears.
When it became obvious that I wasn’t going to be able to shower him in my champagne we just got down to it. The windows on the hire van were steamed up and my sticky marks were all over the back seats. He was a pleaser – I sucked him off a little but he didn’t seem that interested in cumming even though I wanted it so badly. I kept his cock hard in my hands while his long fingers curved round inside me. I masturbated while he did it and when I came I felt him swell each time I shuddered and moaned. He hilariously asked me if he could “just put it in, no thrusts” but I wouldn’t let him because in our hurry I’d left my condoms inside the venue. That denial was powerful for me – I was in control. As sub I probably would have let him. It didn’t phase him either and I was completely naked behind lightly tinted windows on a city centre street when one of my family kept calling my mobile. He licked my asshole as I panted through their conversation.
By this time I was dying for a piss so we went back inside. He grabbed an empty pint glass from a step as we passed and presented it eagerly to me as I went to the toilets. I filled the whole thing and still had more. I’d never seen that much of my own piss up close before. I carried this warm, brimming pint with me out of the toilets and through the venue. He was waiting for me. Surrounded by the oblivious crowd he tipped it back and downed the whole thing in about four swallows. The look that came over his face as he drained the last of it… a dying man in the desert could not have expressed such ecstasy. He licked his lips and rolled his eyes to meet mine, and at that moment I just wanted to grab him and shove my tongue into his mouth, lick the last of me from him so we could both share in what I’d given him. He looked at me through his eyelashes just as his drummer walked over. He was still holding the glass with a few tell-tale drops inside it.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Before I left we went back to the dressing room and I tried to take in as much of the look and taste and smell of him as I could. I ran my fingers through his hair and found it was wet at the back from when my piss had run over him in the van. I told him not to wash it for two days. He cracked a beer and in a flash of inspiration I took it from him and slid about an inch of the neck inside me. “So you can taste me on it after I leave,” I told him. He took a slow swig, leaving his lips on the rim and giving me that look of languid ecstasy again. “Much better,” he said.
I left not sure when I’d be able to see him again. My legs were shaking as I ran for my train – I felt high, I could feel the endorphins rushing through my body. The next day I woke up next to my bf in our bed and was surprised by the fact I felt no guilt at all. I was still buzzing but as the day wore on that feeling started to be replaced by the old frustration – I wanted to do it again. I wanted to do all that and more. Now. I’m still Whatsapping with the guy most days, all sexual. I want to see him again as soon as it’s possible to do so without us getting caught.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Power / Dominance, Not getting enough sexual outlets in my relationship
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Prescription pain killers (Vicodin, Percoset, Demerol, Dilaudid)
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I texted my friend on the way home telling her more or less what had happened. She didn’t get it but was happy that I’d enjoyed myself. However she’s since told me that she’d “only say something to my bf if she felt there was a problem.” I’m not sure what this means. I told another friend it had happened with no detail, he told me that I’d broken a trust with my bf and that I was putting him in a difficult position because he knows him.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The free, unjudgemental discussions of likes and turn ons. Feeling like I could express myself sexually in front of this person without having to worry about how they would react. The fact he was so into how I looked and smelled and tasted and told me so. I got to try something new and be dirty. Sex in a fairly public place was exciting.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The fact I had to do it in secret and keep it secret from my bf, that I might not be able to do it again any time soon. In a way, it’s almost made my constant feelings of sexual frustration in my relationship worse.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really, although I now have more of an interest in playing Dominant that I didn’t have previously.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I want to see him again, I feel there’s a lot that we could explore together and it’s an outlet for both of us.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think society needs start normalising alternative relationship models. My ideal scenario would be a polyamorous or open relationship – different people for different needs and I’d want the same for my partner. Monogamy is archaic, rooted in ideals that aren’t really relevant any more and it doesn’t work for me. I think as a society we need to grow up and start accepting of the fact that it doesn’t for a lot of people. In my experience, the idea that one person should be all things to another forever puts a lot of undue pressure on both partners, particularly when they have very different sexual drives and interests. We need to stop confusing love and partnership with sex. I’d like to feel able to talk about my feelings and experiences more openly and not feel that I have to keep such an essential part of me secret, even from the person I care about the most. I get a lot of negative reactions if I ever do speak about this kind of thing openly and always suspect that I wouldn’t be judged quite so harshly if I were male.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It makes me feel less alone with it all. An interesting insight into human sexuality.
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