What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Brighton
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? In progress (Cross-cultural psychology)
What’s your current relationship status? Closure in progress.
Religious affiliation: Buddhist
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 12
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
A story to share
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2015
What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? V.J. was assistant manager at the pub I worked for over 6 moths now. He is super fit, 32 years old at the time, blue-eyed Latvian guy, a little bit shorter than me. We’ve always been very friendly with each other, on a friendly and professional level, nothing flirty. He has always been understanding about shifts and taught me everything I know about hospitality business for which I’m grateful but it was also a feeling of professionalism that was leading my view of him, rather than personal characteristics.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was New Year’s day and I’ve been having sex all day with my at the time casual partner L. (I will tell the story about him too, he’s a special one). I worked 12 and a half hours and went home. The next day after lots of coffee, I cycled back to work -we were having a staff party and V. had cooked some beef (I later became vegetarian and this was the last meat I have eaten since then), we danced, had lots of shots and continued the party upstairs with him and one other guy. It was great fun, the other guy left the room for a bit and somehow our faces were so close to each other, then of course, the guy entered the room and a little awkward moment follow. Later, he invited me to his room because we were still quite hyper and didn’t wanna sleep. In quite a playful mood, we started splashing some water over each other and started kissing. But before anything had happened, there was this still moment from his side, waiting for me to take the first step, he’s smart and wanted to make sure I really want this and he won’t be unemployed the next day. He asked me if I wanted to stay so we took our clothes off and went in bed.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I started sucking him so deep, his cock was good in length, not so much width-wise (that was my thought before I even put it inside me). He seemed to be climbing on the wall, trying to put his cock as deep in my mouth as possible, it made me laugh inside a little. The sex was regular vaginal, like two strangers feeling nothing for each other apart from a little attraction and curiosity. After it all finished, we fell asleep without our bodies touching, it felt a bit strange, he wasn’t very affectionate or showing his attraction. I haven’t consciously thought about him in a romantic way until that evening so it was no big deal. But this is one of the reasons I prefer sexual encounters that are personal not purely on a physical level, even if it’s not a serious monogamous relationship.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I stayed over and had to sneak up in the morning so that the general manager wouldn’t see me. The sexual encounter itself wasn’t as exciting as the events preceding it and the followups we built our knowledge about each other and it was great. I had no expectations, especially about special treatment at work. I knew everything would be as usual because we were both mature enough to keep it to ourselves and be professional.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Intoxication
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Shared with some close friends. They were surprised but not a big deal.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It made me feel good about myself, as it continued casually in time, it was secretive from our colleagues so it was even more exciting and made us want it more.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? He met someone and got engaged, we continued doing it for a bit even then.
I had to fight the feeling that he was once my boss in order to relax and just be sexual.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It had opened me more for new experiences, showed me that it is possible to feel close to someone without any expectations or demands, just pleasure.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Skipping the 1 year and something time when he was engaged, we had another new beginning which was quite romantic even though it involved a few joints and some cocaine, no, actually it was great because of that. We no longer worked together and he had almost exhausted his engagement, so lots more to explore – he had gotten really good at oral sex, especially under the shower. He could suck me and finger me at the same time while the warm water is touching my clit, lots of anal and changing positions. Now I moved away but I’m sure any time we meet again, we could have great sex and not only that but spend quality time with someone I really know.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I believe humans are very similar to animals and are only deemed monogamous by society to look neater and be more easily controlled. I think casual sex, if consensual and practiced safely, health-wise and without emotional harms, is great to satisfy the diversity of our sexual desires which we discover piece by piece from the different people we connect physically with. It’s not even necessary to harm in any way a committed relationship provided that one of the people involved is currently in one. And I don’t mean where the other person will find out about it or not, I mean that it won’t change the way you feel about them regardless.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s a great place to share your personal experiences anonymously and if you really feel the need to write but you’re not a good enough writer to express them publicly in any form of art in my case.
I’ve read only a little but it seems interesting and I haven’t come across any negative or mean comments because that’s everywhere on social media. If you’re not finding a story interesting, just skip to the next one.
I hope I haven’t drifted away a lot but the string of mind is a powerful thing.
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