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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Canada
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Research agent
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 14
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Best Aftercare Ever

How long ago did this hookup happen? Yesterday

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (open)

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a friend of a friend. We met because of his interest in kink and my knowledge of it. Like me, he was in a open relationship and wanted to try kink outside of his relationship. We started talking a lot about bondage and planned on doing some together, since he needed someone to practice on. We had been flirting by text for a few weeks. There was definitely some sexual tension there. We had done some soft bondage for the first time only a few days before that night.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Since we really connected on our first try, we wanted to see each other again,. It was quite difficult to plan, since we both live with our partners. A BDSM party opened up at the last minute that night. Not a lot of people were planning to go, so it was a perfect opportunity to practice bondage and still have a little intimacy. After talking for a while in a secluded corner of the dungeon, he slowly started tying me up. The feeling of the tight rope and his hands brushing my body was intoxicating. I felt a rush of endorphines only seconds after starting. He was careful not to touch me in a sexual way and I was being a little bratty about it (I knew he hated it and loved it at the same time!). I wanted to provoke him, I wanted to make him touch me. There was this calm energy about him, like he was totally in control of it all, but he still had that little sadistic look in his eyes. I felt like I could trust him with my life. I wanted him to be in control of me, I wanted to be his toy for the night. After tying up my arms to my back, he gently put me on the ground and starting tying up my ankles to my arms, in a hogtie. Each time he moved, his hands softly brushed my hips and my ass. I wanted him to touch me, to grab me hard, but at this point, I was in such a subspace that I almost couldn’t talk, I could just feel everything. He knew this and really enjoyed having put me in that state. A few minutes later, he untied me and I leaned my back on his chest, as we were both sitting on the ground. I felt so good, I didn’t want this moment to stop.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He started caressing me softly in order to allow me to come down from this high. We both needed this moment of aftercare. My heart was beating so fast. It was like we were alone in the room, like nothing else mattered in that moment. His hands brushed my arms, my chest, my neck. The soft touch of his fingers on my skin gave me chills. As his fingers swept the neckline of my shirt, I breathed in deeply, wanting him to go a little bit further. We didn’t talk, but it was like our bodies were in perfect harmony. He slowly went further and further down my shirt. I could feel his heart pounding and his breathing getting heavier and heavier. He grabbed my breasts firmly, the touch of his hands on my nipples instantly made me wet. The contrast between the softness of his touch and the firmest of the grab was inebriating. Endorphines rushed through my body again, making me sink more and more deeply into oblivion. Maybe I moaned, I can’t tell. He grabbed my hair, pulled my head back and kissed me. It was a soft but profound kiss, like it had been meant to be for a while now. His hand made its way down my pants and he starting touching me firmly. I grabbed his pants tightly, I wanted to share this delicious tension with him. It only took a few strokes for me to climax, as we kissed passionately. A tingly sensation ran all through my body, as I collapsed back on him. My body felt heavy, but liberated. My hands were shaking from all these hormones coursing through my veins. We stayed that way for what seemed like hours. Slowly, I started hearing the people talking and moving around us again. I opened my eyes and turned to look at him. We both had a pervy grin on our faces. He looked at me and said, “Best aftercare ever!”

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We left the dungeon almost without talking, but with big smiles on our faces. The next morning, we were already planning our next meeting.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Submission / Relinquishing power

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The fact that it wasn’t planned.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I love a hookup that doesn’t end in penetrative sex. It is almost more satisfying to me. It leaves a little mystery for the next time!

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Being in an open relationship is the best thing ever. It allows me to sexually experiment things I wouldn’t do with my partner. Sex is a great thing and I do not feel that one person can fulfill all your needs. Life is too short for monogamy 🙂

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s an amazing project, I want to read it all!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!

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