What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? England
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? N/A
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Muslim
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 11
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Best Oral Of My Life And Now I Can’t Get Him Out Of My Head!
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I hardly knew my partner. The sex wasn’t planned. I was on the train on my way home from seeing my friend and I was chatting to my partner on an app. He knew I was passing through his area because of the line i was on so he suggested that I come off there instead of going home. I thought, fuck it, why not? It was like a blind date as I didn’t even know what he looked like. This was fine for me as I wasn’t planning on having sex with him.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He said he had weed at home and invited me to smoke some with him. He lived in a shared place. I was a bit disappointed when I found this out but it proved to be unimportant as he had a big double room which overlooked the high road and had a lot of cool stuff inside e.g. nice sofa etc. It was basically like a living room/bedroom. He had 2 sofas. I sat on one in the beginning then moved to the one he was on so we could share a joint. I wasn’t that physically attracted to him but I liked a few things about his appearance like his grey hair. I’d never slept with a guy who had grey hair before. He was in his early 30s but started greying early. I personally loved it. Older = experienced as I found out. Now I am very interested in sleeping with someone who is mid 40’s or something. Anyway, he kept looking at me. I was shy. I felt stupid because I wasn’t planning to have sex with this guy but here I was sitting next to him getting high in his bedroom. At no point did I feel pressured but being a woman in this fucked up society isn’t easy. We are constantly told not to be easy etc. I also have a Muslim background so that doesn’t help. Another thing that was making me hesitant was that I wasn’t that physically attracted to the guy. He wasn’t ugly. Just not really my type. However, he kissed me and I kissed him back and within a few minutes, I was turned on.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Then he got on his knees and got between my legs and just breathed on my pussy while my knickers were still on. At this point, I started moaning. I honestly thought it couldn’t get better but it did. I stayed over that night and he went down on me like 6 times. I went down on him too. I did this a few times to get him hard. In the end, he finished in my mouth which was great as I loved swallowing. I don’t think I am as good at oral as he is. I’ve been told I am decent though. My ex called me a professional lol. What I loved about this guy as well is that he is always clean and he was circumcised. We had vaginal sex too but the oral sex was definitely the highlight. He went down on me like I was the tastiest food he had ever had. He mixed it up by occasionally using his fingers. He put his face right in my pussy. I could occasionally feel his nose. I loved this. He had me sounding like a dying animal lol. I did not orgasm. I think this was partly due to the antidepressants I was on at the time. We also did 69. It was my first time. We also had sex in the morning. I saw him 2 times after that. I honestly was not expecting what I experienced the first time and I am now in love with receiving oral. I had received oral by one other partner before but honestly, he was terrible.
I had trouble relaxing for penetration. I think this is due to anxiety. He asked if I was a virgin because I just wouldn’t open up lol or maybe I was too tight. I don’t know. I told him I wasn’t. This was slightly distressing. I felt a bit dysfunctional but I learned how to relax. I think the weed helped a lot.
He was a great lover. Probably the best I have ever had although tbf, most of my previous sex has been shit so it wasn’t hard to beat it lol. We talked about music and other light topics. I was going through some shit but I didn’t tell him about it. I knew it was a casual thing so I kept it casual. It did bother me a little bit. He was very affectionate though which helped me feel better about everything until I caught feelings that is lol.
It ended with me sending him a long WhatsApp message saying this isn’t working out and offering him regular friendship instead. I sent this message a few days ago and haven’t heard from him.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Casual sex isn’t for me. At least not right now. I felt really good after I left him but then the next day, I couldn’t get him out of my head because of the amazing oral sex. It really kind of messed with my head and now I am trying to stay away from him. I feel kind of sad about the whole thing. I think I caught feelings. I kinda hinted at this in my last message to him.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A few friends. I received mixed reactions.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? I caught feelings.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Oral sex and just my amazing partner. He was a cool dude. Too bad my head is fucked as a result now lol.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? How it messed with my head.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. I have learned that casual sex can be lots of fun but it can also be detrimental to your mental health. The partner before this one was casual as well and I didn’t have such a strong reaction to him. Then again though, the sex was shit and there was nowhere near as much affection. I kind of feel addicted to this guy and his tongue. You have to be very careful.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Nope. I just wish I knew what he was feeling/thinking. I deleted his number and contact details because I didn’t want to message him again. I hope I heal from this experience.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Between the ages of 16-19, I had quite a few casual encounters where I really didn’t know what I was doing. There was nothing positive about these experiences whatsoever. At least with the last experience, I can say that the quality of the sex was good. I was simply lonely and depressed at the time and felt like sleeping with a random would help but it didn’t. Usually, these guys didn’t care about making the experience good for me. They wouldn’t go down on me for example and I was doing it for the wrong reasons anyway. I think at one point I thought sleeping with them would make them love me? I think casual sex can work for some people. You just need to be clear on why you are doing it. It won’t help with your loneliness for example. You need a regular relationship for that. It can help with your horniness though!
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it is great.
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