What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 24
What’s your race/ethnicity? Hispanic / Latino/a
What continent do you live on? South America
What country and/or city do you live in? Buenos Aires
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Tax Analyst/ Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Scarce
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none
my best worst buddy
How long ago did this hookup happen? December 23
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s 19 and I am 24. He’s 6′ 3″, half Bolivian/half Ukrainian, longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen, shaves his head, wears second-hand shirts only. I first met him at my best friend’s birthday party seven months ago and knew I wanted to have sex with him from the moment I saw him.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was about to go lay down on my friend’s bed when he showed up, super late to the party (around 1 am). They decided to move the party to a bar, and just because he was going I decided to go instead of going to bed. Once in the bar, I talked to him a bit until the birthday girl (my best friend and non-romantic love of my life) approached me and told me without even noticing all the flirting that was going on that he was the guy she had been talking to me about. Her crush. The guy who caused her sleep deprivation.
In spite of that, a couple of weeks later, when I was with said friend at a bar and I saw him come in, I felt the desperate urge to go home with him. And so I did.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We went to his place and he didn’t touch me at all. At some point, I figured that he wouldn’t make the first move, so I kissed him while he was talking about whatever. We started taking our clothes off and I was ready to go as soon as we were both naked, but he couldn’t get an erection. We tried several times, I sucked his dick for a long time until I decided it was pointless. He did perform oral sex on me though, and it was fantastic. I came.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? I don’t know
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next day he took me home, I had zero expectations for the future. I saw him about 5-6 times in a 3 month span, then I didn’t see him for 4 months until December 23. I have fun with him but I also don’t really care about him that much.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Condoms, Plan B / Emergency contraception
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Boredom
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? To my friend, she was disappointed that I would pursue him despite her having told me she liked him.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? Because I wanted more of him the first time it happened, and I only saw him a few times until August. It stopped in August because he texted me saying he wanted to hang and I saw it as an opportunity to get laid, except he picked me up, took me to a bar and then spent all night looking for his friends. It didn’t make sense to me and I felt humiliated because I had made it clear that I wanted to sleep with him and he didn’t care. He texted me last week saying “Hello, are you still mad at me?” to which I replied “no”, so we arranged to see each other on Friday, December 23.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The fact that he truly seems to adore me and pretty much everything I do when we are together.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? His dick didn’t function at all like most of the time.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes it has, it has made me more open to casual sex. Four months ago I wanted to be his girl, and now I couldn’t care less and still get to hang with him and have fun whether it is in a sexual or friendly way.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Has not texted since last encounter.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is extremely important to me because it has made me open to the idea that it is okay to like someone and have sex with them without wanting them to be a formal partner. In society, I think it is important because it allows us to learn and understand human nature, leading us to the realization that sex doesn’t have to be a huge deal. I would love for casual sex to be more common, and for myself and everyone I know to be able to enjoy it without feeling any sort of guilt.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it is fantastic.
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