What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 48
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Bloomsburg
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 11
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
My Bucket List Vacation
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Tall, more than a head higher than me, slim, athletic build, African-American, late 40’s with a little distinguished white in his hair. He was extremely well dressed, but not in a flaunty way, kind of man that draws attention by just being there.
I was on vacation to Graceland, my husband had dropped me off as he was going to an interview nearby and I had 2 days there by myself. I met him shortly after I checked in and at breakfast the first morning, we exchanged a few words. I saw him several times during our tour and made small talk about what we had seen. Then caught a glimpse of him at dinner and shared a drink afterwards. That’s when we started to have a more personal conversation.
I thought that it was strange that we kept bumping into each other, then this silly thought that it must be some sort of fated thing. I felt this vibe from him that night, which is why I sat down and talked with him. He was a great conversationalist, I got warm vibe and felt very comfortable with him.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I am in a happy marriage, we are both rather liberal thinking individuals, we respect each other and understand that we are equal partners not the property of the other.
We had dinner together the first night. At first our conversation were mostly about how much we enjoyed Graceland. Then we talked about our families, we found it a funny coincidence that we were there alone because both of our spouses did not share our dedicated interest in all things Elvis. Talking to this man was getting easy and easier. He complimented me on my looks and then said how 20 years ago it would have been impossible for a black man and a white woman to sit here and have drinks and enjoy each other’s company, somehow that revelation made this all the more desirable on my part. I do not know how or what that lead our talk becoming sexual but it did. Shortly into that part of the conversation I really began to want him, feeling all these emotions, excitement, naughty, and scared. All I could think was please make the first move, please show me that you want me, here I am take me.
Now did I plan it, no? It was more like all parts of a bigger scheme coming together and I couldn’t walk away from this opportunity.
I supposed that it was mutually instigated, but I was a more than willing collaborator.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We finished dinner and had a few drinks as we continued talking. Finally I leaned forward and rested my hand on his thigh, and it was like OMG there was his penis. It was awkward silence and then he smiled, and said maybe we should go someplace more private. We didn’t talk much on the way, nervous energy, excitement, anticipation, all balled up in my gut, little voices in my mind telling me all sorts of conflicting things.
To begin with, once we entered my room, we just stood there holding each other steeling up our resolve. He leaned down to kiss me, I kissed back eagerly, I had never been with someone so tall and I found that sensation very erotic and stimulating. It seemed that I had to open myself more to accommodate him.
Getting undressed was sort of a drawn out process, every time we removed a piece of clothing we explored that part of our bodies. He didn’t have much body hair, I found that exciting and his skin was so smooth and soft and smelled deliciously of cocoa. When I got him completely undressed I kissed his chest and stroked his penis, it was long and thick as I couldn’t put my fingers all the way around it,
Fixated on his penis, I sat on the edge of the bed so I could give him oral. It is something that I usually do not do as my husband has a coke can dick, and it isn’t comfortable or pleasurable for me. I grasped his with both of my hands and while I couldn’t get much more of the head of it in my mouth, still I found myself quite aroused licking and kissing it.
He pushed me back and knelt by the bed and began to perform the most exquisite oral. I got lost, totally surrendered to his ministrations and very shortly had a orgasm.
We laid in bed and kissed, then he put me on top, not a position that I enjoy because normally I don’t feel my partner’s penis inside of me but I began by sliding my labia on his penis. He massaged my breast and told me how beautiful I was, what a terrific lover and he couldn’t get over my bush.
I was really getting aroused and wanted to change positions but the head of his penis sort of slipped and as I slid back it went in deeper. I continued riding him, a combination of how good his penis felt, that he was letting me be in charge and being able to look at his face. I orgasmed and collapsed on top of him. We kissed and caressed, I could still feel his hardness and in one quick move he swung me around and was on top of me.
He put his arms around so he could pull my knees up and started to pump deep into me, it was the only mistake he made as I had to stop him as he was hitting my cervix. He apologized, we readjusted and we were back in a mutual rhythm. Honestly I do not know how many times I orgasmed, but when I felt him begin to tense I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him as deep into me as I could. It had been years since I had climaxed at the same time as my partner, but this was an out of the world orgasm. I don’t know if I peed or squirted but for that moment I lost all control of my body.
Usually after sex I have perfected a move that I use to roll out from under my partner, but I lay under him, enjoying his last few thrusts and feeling his penis becoming soft and slowly contracting inside of me.
We must have lain in bed in each other’s arm for an hour. We decided to clean up and had sex in the shower which was just as rewarding.
Back in the other bed we talked till wee hours of the morning, how wonderful the sex we had enjoyed, and we talked about our spouses, oddly it was easy for both of us. We both knew that we would not see each other again.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We had breakfast together, it was very bittersweet. He needed to get ready to check out and I wanted to cleanup before my husband arrived. I got a little emotional later that day as I felt him leak out, it was a mix of guilt, sadness and excitement.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, I was feeling lonely, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, I didn’t want it but was unable to stop it
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Nobody, actually I don’t think it’s anyones business except for the two of us.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? No, at first I thought we connected emotionally, but now with more time to reflect, I see that it was much more a physical thing. I mean that sex was so fantastic and natural, I thought that I must be missing something but he was the right person at the right time, being a stranger, I felt unrestricted. I believe that type of excitement was missing in my marriage, and I am to blame as much as anyone.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Of course the great sex. I have not been that physically exhausted by sex in many years. It also made me take a hard look at my marriage and the effort that I was putting into it.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I had gotten to the point in my marriage where I thought that sex was beginning to be a chore and had been putting off my husband’s desires. I did not think that any of his points in wanting sex were valid. He never was a wham bam kind of guy, and liked to cuddle.
It sort of opened my eyes.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I am sure that many people have secrets that they will carry to their grave. As open and understanding as my husband is I don’t think I can confide in him about this experience. There is also this thing about it (the experience) that only belongs to me.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I guess that I shared this story more because my feelings and perceptions on casual sex has changed. I’ve had sex outside marriage before. Once because I was young and stupid and didn’t know how to say no, then because I was angry and hurt.
This was a wakeup call on how great sex can be when there are no expectations placed on the act.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? While it is sort of arousing reading, but I like most reading how people reflect on what happened and if their insights on their lives have changed
Society put so many restraints on how we are supposed to behave.
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