by Jane doe
What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 18
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? New Jersey
Highest education received: Not graduated from high-school
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was 19, I was 17 at the time. We worked together at an overnight summer camp with a small staff. We had causal conversations, but I wasn’t looking for anything at the time. I didn’t know him that well. We had totally different interests. He was trying to get with another staff member earlier that summer.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I heard that he wanted to hookup with me through another staff member, and I was down. He made more attempts to get to know me as the summer came to a close which was sweet. We hooked up on the last night of camp, we were setting up pong and he held my hand while we walked around. Then we both got drunk and started to hookup.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We made out. We were sitting in the outskirts of the group of staff we were hanging out with, and we eventually left. We made out in a hammock. He was really aggressive which surprised me, and I liked it, which surprised me. We just fooled around above the belt. It was hot so we went in the pool and continued hooking up–he was pushing me against the wall, choking me and biting. I ended up with horrible hickies everywhere including my face and breasts. It was really hot. We ended up getting dressed and sleeping together in the nurse’s office. We were up until 5 am just talking and fooling around. We did not have sex that night.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? This is where it gets interesting. Camp ended but there was off season work to be done, and he stayed for the week after. I wasn’t planning on it but I ended up staying as well to spend more time with him. We would work for most of the day. We stayed together in the nurse’s office and slept in the same bed all week. Which felt very domsestic and was all new to me because I had never been with a guy before in any capacity. We slept together the night I got there but didn’t have sex that night. I really enjoyed spending time with him and getting to know him and get close to him. We had sex the following night. The first time was ok, I had never had sex before but didn’t tell him that. He ate me out a lot and he was good at it. We did the usual foreplay kissing and touching and oral and then he said he wanted to fuck me so bad. So I asked if he had a condom, which he did. We had sex with me on top which just worked best. He came I faked an orgasm just because I figured I was supposed to finish for sex to be over. We showered together afterward and he was very sweet. We made out and he washed my back which sounds corny but it was lovely. I gave him head and we went to sleep. My favorite part of the hookup was just sleeping with him, and being close like that. Sleeping with someone feels good and it made me feel wanted and taken care of. We went out to dinner and we held hands and were acting like a couple around the other staff we were with. They all knew we were hooking up so it was chill. We had sex before we got dinner, and I bled because I wasn’t wet enough and wasn’t feeling it. We had sex the last night we were both there and holy shit. It was intense and really good. I was on top and he was pounding me. I loved it. He was very dominant and would tell me what to do, pull my hair, choke me, spank me, call me a slut. It was all consensual. He came and made me lick the cum off his cock which was hot. We fucked in a cabin then slept in the nurse’s office where we fucked again that night. He was a freak in the best way. He wanted to snowball and I was down so we did. The next morning we kissed goodbye and left with no closure. We talked almost everyday and I visited him at college where we hooked up but didn’t fuck. We walked around his campus holding hands/ acting like a couple again. While I enjoyed it at the time, it left me very confused as to what we were.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel more desirable, Submission / Relinquishing power, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to many of my friends to try and sort out my feelings. They were all supportive. We both missed each other and continued talking until I asked what we were. He said something along the lines of I was an amazing person but he didn’t think he could be with me. I was hurt because I felt like he strung me along for months after the hookup. We acted like a couple, were sleeping together, taking about deeply personal things, and having sex during the time we were together. I know we both cared about each other. It was just hard for me to let it go.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? While it was fun and I was glad to have the experience, it hurt me in the end. I’m just an emotional person and got attached and it makes me cringe! I know he cared about me in more than a hookup way, which comforts me.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The intimacy. Being close to someone in that way and feeling wanted. He introduced me to freaky sex which I found out I loved. He was a good guy, a great lover, and I will always care about him.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The aftermath. I had a really hard time sorting through my feelings, and visiting him and college and hooking up made me more confused. I was going to see him as just friends but, he initiated more. It blurred the line between being a camp thing and a real world thing.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made me feel better about myself. It made me feel desirable. He loved the sex with me, which was funny because he would tell me how good I was, and I had never had sex before. I don’t really regret it. I learned about what I want sexually and relationship wise.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? We don’t speak anymore but I think of him from time to time.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Know your emotional boundaries before engaging in casual sex! Some people can handle it, some people can’t. Sex is healthy and casual sex serves its purpose in a way where people can be sexually satisfied with/by a partner, even when not in a relationship. And honestly? It’s fun.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? A great project in navigating feelings after casual sex, and destigmatizing casual sex.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!