Age: 18 then
Current location: Canada
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Relationship status: Single then
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Pansexual (not limited to cisgendered people)
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 8 (3 female, 5 male)
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
First FWB experience
How long ago did this hookup happen? Several years ago
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friends with benefits (with an ex)
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Half black, tall and skinny, cute face. He was my boyfriend for 2 years in highschool. I had my first time with him and we had sex pretty often and pretty good. We broke up because we didn’t work in the relationship part.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? After we broke up I dated someone for a month or so. He and I started messaging each other about being at least friends, and that eventually turned into talking about having sex secretly, which continued for another year or so.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Vaginal intercourse, blowjobs, manual, but he wasn’t into vaginal oral. It was always good sex, we were both full of curiousity for sexuality and grew into sexual adults together.
During one particular experience, we were having doggy-style sex in the bathroom of his parents’ house. His stepmother walked into the house, we frantically got dressed, and she was clueless until she saw my shoes at the door and then shouted “GUYS!! Gross!!” and I walked out with a shameful face.
Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? We pretty often both orgasmed. We both frequently masturbated so we talked a lot about what got us off.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We were both each others first partner, and neither of us had STIs. I was on birth control but we hardly ever used condoms.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? At some point when we were still in a romantic relationship we both realized we were bisexual, so while we were friends with benefits we were also interested in experimenting with the same sex, so we eventually lost interest in sex with each other. To this day we are no longer sexually attracted to each other but we will be best friends for life.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I don’t tell many people that I used to have casual sex with my current best friend. We kept it secret from everyone at the time.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes we both consented.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Not at all, it really shaped who I am today.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Ever since then I find real relationships difficult and prefer something similar because for me friendship and sex are simple.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
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