What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 27
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Scotland
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Arts
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? With prefernece to women
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 37
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 7
First time with another guy
How long ago did this hookup happen? 7 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Jay was a couple of years younger than me. This was during a time when I was wanting to experiment with men more as it was something that had always stuck with me and I wanted to explore it. I met Jay on a gay hookup app website called gaydar – I don’t know if still exists now that Grindr is a thing. He messaged me once simply with ‘BJ?’ and his pic didn’t do much for me so I automatically ignored it.
A few days later I was at a club (one of the shitty ones in town) and actually bumped into him! Being slightly drunk and adventurous I approached him introducing myself as the guy he had messaged. I think he was as surprised as I was. We kept it cool (I wasn’t out as Bi at the time, still not really) and agreed to message each other later.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Once I was home he messaged me on Gaydar and suggested I come around. Now thoroughly bricking it with nerves I said yes and had more to drink before I left. Unfortunately I was sobering up at the time and the extra alcohol did absolutely nothing.
So more sober than I would have liked I headed over to his flat, which was five minutes from where I lived.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? After I arrived we made small talk a bit. I still wasn’t really attracted to him but then again I decided to go with it and see how I felt. After talking on his bed we moved up to the top and lay side by side. He made the first move and kissed me. I was surprised at how similar to kissing a girl it was, then again we were both clean shaven.
I started kissing his neck (I’m a fan of doing that with women) and he responded. We took each others clothes off and he started going down on me. I’ll give him his due it was alright. No teeth.
I returned the favour for a while (neither of us came through it). His dick was quite small though, and wasn’t really what I was after. I suggested frotting (cock on cock grinding as this is a big turn on for me), he agreed and I got on top of him with our cocks pressing, though due to his small size, it was nowhere near as good as it could have been. I managed to cum though and then I made him cum with my hands, both of our cum staining his stomach.
I stayed the night and left the next day.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Jay messaged me a few more times looking for another hookup, but I didn’t really want a round 2. He ended up being a bit pushy but I went round to his again really to tell him I wasn’t sure if I was really into guys or just experimenting. I am, but very picky it turns out. He took the hint from that. Wish all guys would.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Learning new things, experimenting
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one. I wasn’t out to anyone at the time.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? Guys are very different from girls. Very much want action now, which I get and sometimes I feel the same way. But seeing things from the other side, so to speak, has given me a bigger appreciation for the shit women deal with when messaging men.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Got to figure out what it was like with a guy.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? He was clingy and bit pushy.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It’s changed the way I communicate online and like I said earlier gave me an appreciation for what women have to put up with. Men can be very demanding and presumptuous and sometimes aggressive, which I hate so it’s definately given me a greater understanding of how to commnunicate with people online. Maybe not so much this story, but other encounters I’ve had with men that I’ll post later.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Don’t send one word ‘bj?’ messages guys, cause unless the person you message ends up drunk in the same club as you, it aint gonna work.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Still love casual sex.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s a great website.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!