What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 16
What’s your race/ethnicity? Mixed / Multiracial
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? France
Highest education received: Not graduated from high-school
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
First time ever with a guy
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 days ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s two years older than me and we met 3 weeks ago at a party. I was drunk, high and needy so we ended up cuddling a little bit but he didn’t seem much interested. He texted me the next day to apologize for acting cold and ever since we’ve been texting every day. He’s been trying to get to know me, complimenting me, offering to take me out… The thing is, although I enjoy talking to him I neither find him attractive nor want to date him. But I always crave human contact so the idea of making out with him was still very appealing. We both asked our mutual friend to throw another party – implicitly it was obviously so we could see what would happen between us.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Our friend hosted a small party at our request, so we got drunk together and after a few hours I ended up sitting on his lap, running my fingers through his hair and we started kissing and making out. Another girl joined us but didn’t follow when we headed to the bedroom.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It was very intense, we just couldn’t stop kissing and trying to get on top of each other. I’m glad I was somewhat drunk because I’m very self-conscious and I probably wouldn’t have felt as comfortable otherwise. It wasn’t awkward at all, I was expecting many fails for my first time but it all went surprisingly well. He was very attentive to what I was saying and to my moans, I guided him a few times but overall he knew what he had to do.
I said no to penetrative sex because it doesn’t attract me and it’s not something I want to do for now. I masturbated him, scratched his back and kissed him everywhere but he did most of the things : he gave me hickeys, sucked on my tits, played with my clit, put his fingers inside of my vagina and went down on me multiple times. I wasn’t expecting this much but everything felt really good. I was happy to be living what I’ve been longing for so long.
It lasted for a pretty long time, we were both saying that we could go on all night. We fell asleep in each other’s arms while cuddling. When we woke up, we kissed and almost started hooking up again, he wanted to go down on me but I said that I’d rather keep it above the belt so we continued kissing/cuddling/sleeping for the next hours. Then he had to leave so we got up and before regaining the room where our friends had slept, we hugged tightly and thanked each other for the night.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I feel good ever since it happened. We keep texting each other the same way. He apologized for the hickeys (I’d be in trouble if my family found out) and said that next time he would try to do them lower. Since we’re talking about next time I guess we could say that we’re now friends with benefits (which suits me very well) but we haven’t discussed our relationship yet. I suspect he wouldn’t mind dating (I still don’t want to) but maybe he wouldn’t mind keeping things casual either. Guess we’ll have to make that clear before doing anything next time
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, To feel more desirable
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Given the state of my neck, our friends could guess what had happened overnight. They mostly seemed curious. I also told most of my closest friends and though some of them were very surprised, they were all happy to see me satisfied.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? He was all about me and my pleasure, and all of his pleasure came from mine. It made me feel happy, satisfied, confident, desirable, empowered.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing. I just regret that I didn’t find the nerve to clarify our relationship because it isn’t right not to take his possible feelings in consideration. I don’t mean to hurt him or anything so I’d better woman up and bring up the subject soon.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I’m 16 so this was only my second experience, but the first one with a girl was casual too and I already know that casual sex will be a part of my life. My standards for a romantic relationship are way too high so I’ve never dated anyone and I don’t think it’s about to happen (even though I long for it). But it’s (more or less) okay as long as I can find other ways to fulfill my needs. At this point I don’t think I could have lower standards concerning casual relationships, since I don’t even feel the need to be truly attracted to the person. I’m glad casual sex is a thing.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? As I said, it’s only the begining of my sex life so I don’t have much experience but I know that slut-shamming is a frequent result of hooking up. For now I have the chance to be surrounded by non-judgmental people – at least, the ones that I’ve told! for example I’m pretty sure my parents wouldn’t approuve/understand sex without love. But I think everyone should be allowed to do as they want as long as it’s safe and consensual.
I’m also glad I learned so much about sex on the Internet because I feel safer, more aware and less scared. Internet taught me I had the right to fully enjoy my sexuality. Without it, guilt would probably have consumed me by now.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Personally, I discovered the project thanks to Dr. Zhana Vrangalova’s TED talk about casual sex. I’m currently laughing at myself because I really must have zero privacy to share such private stuff. But in the other hand, processing all these questions has helped me so I’ll probably come back next times.
More generally, I think it’s important to give a space to people to share their REAL sex stories and it’s also very interesting to collect satistics and study casual sex as a social phenomenon.
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