by intuition897

Gender: Female
Age: 40
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: Ontario, Canada
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
Occupation: Administrative
Relationship status: Married
Religious affiliation: Eclectic Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? ~10-20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

First Time Full-Swap Experience

How long ago did this hookup happen? 12 years ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Swinging hook-up

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? D (the husband) was a guy with an average build, somewhat less muscular and slighter than my husband, dark hair, dark eyes, generally attractive guy.  J (the wife) was pretty in an everyday kind of way, with curly blonde hair and a cute round-bottomed figure.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We had connected on one of the more popular swinging hook-up websites, hit it off and decided to meet.  We had exchanged photos and everyone was interested.  Neither they nor we had ever had a full-swap encounter before, but we were ready to give it a go.  They had young kids and lived just across the border, so they had to make arrangements for an overnight sitter.  We sent our kids to my parents’ house for the weekend.  As for instigating it, I think everyone just moved forward at the same pace.  We were all interested.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Gosh it was so long ago I forget exactly how things got started.  We all drank a bit of wine on the couch and chatted until finally someone got up the nerve to bring up the elephant in the room: so does anyone want to try this out?  We went to the bedroom and started undressing one another.  We were all surprised at how natural it felt for everyone.  We made out with one another’s spouses side by side on the same bed.  I sat up on top of the other husband, just enjoying the close contact, and continuing to kiss and touch each other.  I look over and there’s my husband going ahead having unprotected sex with the other Mrs.  I was a little taken aback, but unconcerned because we were all monogamous and 100% clean/healthy.  We just hadn’t agreed to it.  So the other husband and I went ahead and followed suit.  It was a lot of fun, very sensual, and a very liberating experience.  I was shocked that there was no pain, no jealousy, no hard feelings…I was just absolutely fascinated to watch him having sex with another woman.  It was like an out of body experience; he’d done all those things with me, and I knew how they felt, so I could almost “put myself” in her body to know what she was feeling, but she responded differently than I do.  She looked different, sounded different…it was so interesting.  It turned out, by the way, that hubby had misinterpreted my sitting on top of the other guy; he thought I was the one going ahead with unprotected sex, so HE was following suit.  A bit of miscommunication there, but it turned out okay in the end.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? No, but I thoroughly enjoyed the experience.  I was more focused on the sensual enjoyment of the experience.  Plus having four bodies on the same bed is a bit of sensory overload.  We enjoyed future encounters with this same couple in separate rooms, which allowed us to focus our attention better.  Still no orgasm at that time; I think it’s an intimacy thing for me.  Hubby, however, had NO problem having an orgasm.  His partner had some technique (wish I had asked her!) that just got him hard over and over and over again.  He literally had 8 orgasms in one night!  High five, hubby!

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? None!  Due to miscommunication we ended up going bareback.  But it turned out okay because, up until this point we had been in long-term monogamous relationships.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Because we could.  So much fun is left un-had in life because people get in their own way.  We don’t need to be monogamous to have a great relationship, so we don’t bother with it.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? A bit of wine, or maybe a scotch or two, but only enough to maybe get a bit of a buzz.  Enough to relax and that’s it.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We had an ongoing sexual relationship with this couple for a couple of months after, and it was fantastic!

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Non-monogamous relationships are fairly taboo, so we’ve only told a couple of close friends about it.  Mostly because it was so awesome we HAD to tell SOMEbody.  They still didn’t fully understand it, unfortunately.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? 100% consensual for all involved.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Nope!

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Sexual liberation!  We kind of looked at one another afterward, as we watched our friends staggering down the driveway the next morning, their hair all messed up, and said, “Why didn’t we do this sooner??”  This encounter opened the door to a really fantastic relationship with one another where we indulged one another’s sexual desires without fear, and it really developed our communication skills.  That’s a pretty good feeling.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? Non-monogamous relationships are worth exploring!  For us, it was an evolutionary step in deepening and strengthening our relationship.

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