by Selene
Gender: female
Age: 19

Race/ethnicity: Hispanic
Location: Los Angeles
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Student Worker
Religious affiliation: Catholic
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

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Frat Boy

How long ago did this hookup happen? A month ago

How would you best classify this hookup? friends with benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was not the most handsome guy out there but he was cute. His personality blew me away. We met on Facebook. Having a lot of mutual friends in common, he wondered why he hadn’t met me before. We talked for around a month and finally met in person at his frat’s party. We danced and he kissed me that same night. We continued to talk after that until we had a first date at his apartment. I had my doubts about him since he was known as a big time party and frat boy. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, however, and still decided to give him a chance since I really felt we connected really well.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? At his apartment we spent a few hours in his Jacuzzi and we were sharing stories and listening to music. It felt like he was making a sincere interest to get to know me so I felt really comfortable with him right away. We later watched a movie and cuddled and made out on his couch. Everything was going great and I didn’t think twice about anything because of how comfortable I felt with him. We later got tired and he carried me to his bed where we made out some more. Then he began to get a little more touchy and I knew what was going to happen next. He asked me if this is what I wanted and I agreed by kissing him back passionately. We were both sober and it seemed like something we both wanted at that moment.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? During the hook up he started by kissing my neck and slowly kissing my whole body. We had vaginal intercourse and I gave him oral sex since he had done the same for me. We had sex twice that night and kept kissing throughout the night. Neither of us had an orgasm and the intercourse was on and off throughout the entire night. I think I thought he was a good lover since I was just enchanted by him and the morning after I asked him about his last partner and he responded by saying he had just had sex with a girl a month earlier. He also shared I was the first girl that was younger than him.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? In the heat of the moment we did not use a condom or discuss it afterwards.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I had been dealing with a broken heart around the time I met him. His attention really helped me get over the previous guy. That night I noticed he was really flirty and touchy right away so I assured myself that he was not relationship material and so it was OK if I played his game. I was convincing myself I would not get attached.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, he dropped me off at my dorm and we didn’t talk for around a week. I started becoming anxious since I realized I had gotten feelings for this guy. I really wanted to make this into a relationship even though I made a huge mistake by sleeping with him so soon. We have continued to talk, just as friends and I now know I have to stop talking to him because it keeps me attached to him even though it is now clear that I am nothing but a hook up buddy to him. I also started to realize that his main priority at this time in his life is to keep up his frat boy reputation and a relationship wouldn’t fit into that life style.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to my roommate and she was disappointed in me because she thought I should have shown him that I am a respectable person. We both knew his party boy reputation and she told me that should have been a clue to me to not take him so seriously.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was definitely consensual on my part but all because of the wrong reasons. One of the other reasons I let it happen was that I was seeing other college friends engage in hook ups as well and they were handling them pretty well. It was consensual for him as well.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I do regret it because I got emotionally attached and even after the hook up he has continued to lead me on.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing about it was that I felt beautiful and wanted. It lifted my spirits when they were really low and it was great at that precise moment. The worst part was the next morning and next few days where I was unsure what was going to happen next. This hook up has helped me realize that hook ups can have a huge emotional toll and I learned that I can’t handle that. I am glad I have realized how sacred and powerful sex is when it comes to bringing two people together and I have learned not to have sex outside of a committed relationship.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

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