by Me

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 39
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Behavioral specialist
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Demisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Friends with benefits

How long ago did this hookup happen? Around 3 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was my childhood friend and we had known each other since I was 4 and he was 5.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We lost touch after I got married but renewed our friendship after my divorce. We had flirted for years. I was in his city for a conference and we were texting which turned into sexting.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The first time we hooked up, he stopped by my hotel after work and we began kissing in the parking lot. We then moved to his car and had sex vaginally in the car. It was very intense and hot. I came and he came inside me.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one.

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We took a walk and talked. It was great. He got a room in the same hotel the next night and we played all night. That’s another story. We met up a few more times until he got married.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, IUD (Intrauterine device)

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, To feel more desirable, To cheer myself up. It was easy / convenient.

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent.

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A few friends. They were surprised that I would do something like that.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? We’ve known each other for ever and it was comfortable, fun and no pressure.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? He lived in another city so it couldn’t happen.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I was raised very conservatively. It’s only now in recent years that I’ve begun to explore sexuality.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!

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