What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 45
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Chicago
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? IT
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly gay/lesbian
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Emotionally straight. Sexually, leaning heavily gay.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 7
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1.5 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Sexual experiment.
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was 5 11, average build, blue eyes, graying hair. We had been emailing back and forth through a swing website. Finally we met at a bar then moved on to a hotel. He was a nice guy.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He contacted me through a website.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We got naked and fondled each other’s cocks while in a sideways 69 position lying on the bed. I then offered to suck him and did so with him wearing a condom. He came quickly. He tried to suck me but I couldn’t stay hard. I played with myself to get hard but could not. I gave him another blowjob while he took video of me with my phone (to show my wife). We parted amicably and agreed to meet again.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I have come to believe I will need to kiss a guy to stay erect. Just more intimate. He was not interested in kissing and I was not attracted enough to him to kiss anyway.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Thought it was an important experience to have
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My wife. She knew every step. She is bisexual and supports and encourages my gay desires.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I finally got to suck cock. I have wanted to do this for soooo long.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The condom. I really want a naked cock in my mouth. Also the fact I couldn’t stay hard. I really wanted to experience another man pleasuring me.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. It affirmed my gay desires.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? No.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I wish more people were accepting of it. As long as people are safe, who cares? It also really helped me exploring my sexuality, without any attached strings.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s great. Love the concept and being able to share my experience.
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