What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 18
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? N/A
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 1
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
I Got My First Kiss, And So Much More
How long ago did this hookup happen? About 2 months ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met this person at the beginning of freshman year, they were in the same program as me at college. We were never close friends, but we had some crossover in our friend groups, so we interacted frequently. I never actually viewed this person sexually until the night it started.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I went to a party with some of my friends, and he decided to come along. I didn’t know at the time, but some of my friends had talked about my desire to find someone at the party to get my first kiss over with. He had jokingly “volunteered” but didn’t intend to act on this because he was unsure of my intentions. I was very drunk by the end of the night, and while it wasn’t purposely set up this way, we ended up alone in a car together. His main goal was to sober me up enough to seek past my RA. As we sat in the car, I started to complain that I had not been successful in getting my first kiss. This was when he said that “we could make out if you wanted.” I thought he was joking, mainly due to my low self-esteem. We started to cuddle a little in the car, and eventually, I was sober enough to get out and walk back. He made another advance and next thing I knew I was against the hood of the car, hardcore making out.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? That first night we did not have sex. I was actually surprised the next morning when I realized he had not even attempted to grab my boobs at all, even though we ended up at his room. It wasn’t until about a week later that the real action started. He texted me wanting to talk, and make sure I was ok with everything that happened. During this conversation, he told me he was willing to do it again, he just didn’t want a relationship. I completely agreed to his proposal (this was something I had wanted to initiate anyway). From this point, we met up a few nights a week to “have some fun.” It started just making out, next time some clothes came off, and then more the next. Eventually, we started getting more handsy,; I gave him a hand job and he fingered me. It then transitioned to oral sex, and ultimately we did the deed. We would often cuddle afterward, although I never slept over. It was never awkward, even though we had classes together and I would see him around a lot. We talked a lot about our intentions, so there was no chance for miscommunications. It mutually ended after finals. We both knew if we kept talking over the summer we would want more out of our fling, so we choose to stop completely.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The morning after our first encounter, I was so happy. Recklessly making out with someone was exactly what I had wanted. I was tired of being so unexperienced. All the stuff that came after was just an added bonus. I only view him with gratitude and respect, there was never a point when I felt we had gone too far, or that he was doing something I was uncomfortable with. I know we will continue to be friends with him for the rest of our college years. I doubt we will ever start it up again, but I only have fond memories.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, Intoxication, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, I was feeling lonely
How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? We kept it a secret for the full month we were hooking up. Eventually, I told some of my close friends. They were happy for me because they knew I had expressed my interest in doing something like this.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I gained experience and confidence
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not going to lie, he was not the most attractive
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Absolutely, previously, I was against hookups and doubted I would have sex before marriage due to my religious upbringing. I realized through this experience that sex is not as big of a deal as people tried to scare me into believing.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex should not be viewed so negatively by society. People have the right to make their own decisions and not be judged for them.
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