by Lola


Gender: Female
Age: 34
Race/ethnicity: Hispanic
Location: SoCal
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Administrator
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Catholic
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0


Heartbreak


How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends with benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him 10 years ago we were attracted to each other but he was kind of a womanizer, I was very shy and also trying to forget the love of my life, we did not get together often but before I was going back to my hometown we kissed. I used to keep in touch with him I got married and he too, we used to exchange pictures and emails from time to time, I moved to USA and he was living pretty close to where I was, he was still married and I was getting the divorced, he knew I was in USA and he was traveling often to the city I was living before, we met after 8 years of our first and only kiss. He is attractive and very different of what I usually like, white, light brown hair, beautiful eyes and very hot (he was out of my league).

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? When he knew I was living in the city where he was doing business we agreed to meet, I don’t drink but we went to a bar, we talked about our life and I was surprised after he said “I am only thinking of how to get you to my bed” I really liked him but I was not ready also he was “happily married” so nothing happened. He came to the city more often and he asked me to meet him but sometimes I couldn’t, one night we meet and he asked to have sex, always liked him so I decided to try.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had sex every time he was in town and I had time to see him, I knew it was not serious because he was married and I was separated, we even travel together and had amazing time, one time he told me he was getting the divorced so I kind of think I could have a chance with him because he used to tell me he wanted someone like me as a second wife, I was trying to don’t fall in love with him as we were getting close, we were texting and calling more often, we talked about how he wanted me to dress for the next time I also had some ideas of how I wanted to meet him. He was a good lover I enjoyed sex with him a lot but at the beginning I did not kiss him often because I feel to kiss while having sex is very deep, but as we were getting together often I started to kiss him more, we liked to play with ice cream, wine, margarita, fruits when we were having sex, we loved adrenaline, we had sex in the car, at a coffee shop’s restroom, at the open air at night while watching the stars. We also used costumes, I wanted to please him with my outfits, he always gave me ideas and I used to surprised him getting all that he wanted, during sex he loved when I was loud. We tried too many positions. Sometimes I has several orgasms, he never complaint about how I pleased him. I was not in a relationship with anyone but I think he still was with his wife even though they were separated.   
I did not want to admit I was missing him when he was going back to his country, he travels a lot and I got the feeling I was not the only fuck buddy he had but he never admitted. He used to take care of me but he always wanted me to get jealous when he was talking about all the girls who wanted to fuck him, but he used to tell me he was not like the other guys.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? He used condoms but as we were getting “serious” he used to pulled out before to cum. We did not talk about STI history.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was very attracted to him.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Sometimes we used to have a beer or wine, I’m not a drinker and I used to get dizzy and kinky with only one drink. He loved when I was in that mood.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? When I realized I was falling in love I decided to tell him but it was the end of it, he said he was falling for me too but also that he was not prepared for a relationship, he’s still married but as far as I knew separated. There is no future so I decided to stop it. I feel sad because as we were getting more intimate I thought he could love me but now I know he was with me only for having a good time. He was with me because I was always there for him.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked about this with my best friend, he is a guy so when I told my story, he knew he will never want something serious with me. He advised me to stay away from him and don’t even have him as a “only friend”

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual for both sides.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes I do because I couldn’t  take it as only sex and now I’m trying to forget this experience.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I don’t want to get involve in a relationship like that again.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

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