Location: Chicago, IL
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Religious affiliation: Atheism
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How I Lost My Virginity
How long ago did this hookup happen? June 2007
How would you best classify this hookup? Unclassified
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My partner was a Tibetan refugee I met on MySpace a few weeks prior to this encounter. He was an active service member in the US Army and had a well-built physique. He was about a half foot taller than me. This guy had a very good sense of style and was incredibly well groomed. His English was quite good and he was an incredible flirt. Being interested in Buddhism and Tibet, I was drawn to him because he taught me so much about his homeland. Before we met in person, we had not hooked up before, nor had we even met in person. This was the first time we actually met in person.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We made plans to meet up on a Saturday evening. I was staying at my friend’s apartment for the weekend in Minneapolis and we decided to meet in that neighborhood because it was near where he lived. My friend went out drinking for the night with her friend, so she basically left her apartment to me for the night since she knew I was going to meet up with this guy.
After the initial meeting, I invited him up to my friend’s apartment. We watched TV for a little while, but then he made his move on me. We eventually moved from the couch to my friend’s bedroom, which was unoccupied.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The most succinct answer to this is that I lost my virginity that night! We started out on the bed, with him on top of me (the blood stain is still on that duvet cover…sorry to the friend whose duvet cover I ruined).
I also don’t think he realized I was a virgin…he actually noted several times that I was bleeding and leaving a trail of blood. He seemed genuinely concerned and asked several times if he was hurting me and if I was okay. He was surprisingly romantic about it.
I really don’t recall much from that night…I know I didn’t orgasm and remember feeling a lot of pain when he initially entered me. It wasn’t a terrible pain though, it was just pain…I’m not entirely sure how to explain it, actually.
We had sex a few times that night. There was also significant cuddling. Rapport was quite good with him afterwards.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Condoms were used.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No, alcohol and drugs were not used.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We hooked up a few more times throughout the duration of that summer. I felt fairly positive about each hookup we had together. We continued to stay in contact when I moved to Chicago for school and talked on a regular basis for a good year after our initial hook up. We have lost touch, which makes me a little sad…I often wonder what he is up to now days. I actually have a bracelet he left after our first hookup sitting on my book case as we speak. I guess you could say it’s a reminder of the day I lost my virginity.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? The first person I told about this hookup was my friend whose apartment I was staying at over the weekend. he was quite drunk at the time, so I’m not sure she really remembers that moment. I think the worst part was having to explain the huge stain on her duvet cover and how it got there. In hindsight, I should have offered to have it professionally cleaned for her! We are still incredibly good friends and joke about how the stain got on her duvet cover in the first place.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was unexpected, but absolutely consensual.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I really didn’t expect to lose my virginity this way, but have no qualms or regrets about it. I guess it’s just the way it happened.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? As I previously mentioned, I didn’t really expect to lose my virginity via a hook up. I think it made me more open to the idea of hook ups and allowed me to understand hook ups do not make a person any more or less of a moral being. I was raised in a Roman Catholic setting, so this was quite counter to what I was taught growing up.
In addition, being a plus size woman, it made me realize men could find me sexually attractive and want to be intimate with me. Throughout my life, I had been taught the complete opposite and had been conditioned to believe no man would ever find me attractive simply because of my weight. Therefore, I think this experience (along with the other ones I have had in my life) have had a profound impact on how I view myself and my self-perceived attractiveness rating despite being a plus size woman in American society.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
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