What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 28
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Salem, OR
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Buddhist
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
I Was More Thirsty Than I Thought
How long ago did this hookup happen? A little over a year ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Group sex
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? It’s hard for me to recollect a couple of the partners in this interaction because I was so immersed in the sex that I “dissolved”. The sense of being an “I” or “me” or my partners as “them” disappeared. This all happened at a local sex club where sex was initiated by an older fellow (in his 40’s) who was around 6 ft tall, wore glasses. He had a nice body though his teeth weren’t the sexiest. I didn’t care to dwell on what my potential partner(s) would be like because I wasn’t there for them. So long as they were clean and respectful, I didn’t care. I was there for an experience unlike any I have ever had the opportunity to have before thanks in large part to being married at such a young age. After this first man and I started having sex we decided we wanted a more public affair, and so we allowed more people to come in and watch. As I was being penetrated by my original partner, another man, a tall, stocky Latino, came and offered his cock for my mouth. Then another man, whom I didn’t see, switched out with the one who was fucking me and took his place. The owner of the club stood watch to make sure the gentlemen were wearing condoms and minding themselves. At this time, I was so thoroughly masked in pleasure I can’t recall details. I just knew I was being fucked from both ends by numerous men and feeling incredible!
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I looked up swingers and sex clubs near my area and saw this small one pop up in my online searches that was closest to where I was living at during the time. This was some months after separating from my marriage, and I was quite ready to do some serious sexual exploration after having felt repressed for a good couple of years. During the tail end of my withering marriage, I discovered the works of Betty Dodson and began looking into casual/group sex experiences. Namely, this was because I wasn’t sure if my feverishly growing fantasies of orgies was healthy, but knew if I ever got out of my marriage, I was ready to give it a go. I was in definite need of reclaiming my physical, emotional, and sexual autonomy. I suppose I could say I initiated the interaction by just showing up as a single lady at a sex club, but it was the buck-toothed man who led this thirsty horse to water.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Starting the night off having lost a game of strip billiards, the first man started making out with me in front of a room full of guys. Sensing I was quite excited, he asked if I’d like to go “play” with him in a private room to which I obliged, of course. In the room we started getting hot and heavy, taking off each other’s clothes and I went down on him. I hate to sound like a cliche’d porn script, but he had a decently sized cock and I could feel something competitive within me when faced with it. “I can take you,” I thought, “I can take you and every well-endowed man in this club.” Just as we were about to have intercourse, he asked if I’d like for him to open the door. Now, there are rules at this club, and one of them is any door to a private room that is closed cannot be opened accept by the folks within it. However, if the door is opened, anyone is allowed to come in and watch. Thoroughly aroused and knowing this was the moment of liberation I was looking for, I nodded my agreement and he opened the door. He came back to the bed, and we started having intercourse. Like bees to honey, the men flocked in to watch the show, one brave gentleman gestured a polite, “May I?” by giving me a questioning look while holding his hands at his zipper to indicate he wanted to join in. I gave my blessing and found myself skewered between two men, one pleasuring himself with my mouth, and the other with my pussy. The men would trade out with others in the crowd, and I remember at one time the owner of the club joking, “Let the girl breathe!” to whomever I was giving head to at that time. We all shared a good laugh, then I looked up at the scene surrounding the bed. Shirtless and clothed men alike of all ages and sizes, many hanging on each other’s shoulders, some with beers in their hands, just enjoying themselves. Everyone was smiling, there were jokes and there was laughter. You could imagine I eventually ran out of steam and naturally I tapped out after having my fill. I was offered some fresh water, a towel, a shower, perhaps some food if I was hungry after such rigorous activity. In the main lobby, I was complimented and thanked-I was decently popular that night, for sure.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After I had rested for an hour or so, I took up a young, handsome gentleman on an offer to have a foursome involving him and an older couple he was friends with. That experience created some interesting contrast. Perhaps a store for another time. However, the next day I felt over the moon. It felt as if I had finally paid attention to a very important part of myself that was being heavily neglected for far too long. It’s definitely a story I hope to recall on my death bed.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to a few folks about it. At the time I was living on a little community farm, and they all seemed pretty excited for me. I told a co worker and he gifted me with a heart felt congratulations. I’m selective in who I share this with for obvious reasons, and the feedback is generally positive.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Where to begin! The sex was fine for what it was, certainly. Intense, hard, fast while also being jovial and lighthearted. This release of my repression has since inseminated within me a great deal of creative energy and a sense of real power within myself. It also gave me enough confidence to try this sort of thing again when I’m ready. Along with the foursome that followed soon after gave me a great perch to survey and compare other experiences at the time and in the future. It was a sexual enlightenment.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? There is no worst. It was totally consensual, and I went into this having some my research so I didn’t set myself or my partners up for failure with unrealistic expectations or confusion.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It’s opened doors. My potential has been burst wide open, and not just sexually, either.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I should have refueled on those nachos, come to think of it. They looked delicious!
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? My thoughts on casual sex have certainly flipped a 180 since even just five years ago. I think it can be an important mechanism in many relationships and for many people, but I also understand that, like drugs, it requires a respect and understanding of its power. It can be misused at our own peril. However, it can be a force to channel positive societal change. If we romanticized “committed” sex less we could have far more realistic expectations from our committed relationships. We could demonize less people for less things, and be less fearful because of our greater understanding of ourselves, our partners, and our sexual power.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I’m excited to read stories of all sorts of experience levels. From the good to the bad, I think we can find quite a bit of wisdom in this forum.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!