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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 24
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA, Orange County, CA
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student/Waitress
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 25-30
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 3

Kinky Hookup with Old Friend

How long ago did this hookup happen? Last week

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My partner is 26, male, and a total babe. He looks a bit like Dracula – cat eyes, thick eyebrows, angular face, sharp jaw line, sharp teeth. He’s very beautiful and a bit strange looking, which I always have been attracted to. I met him when I was 17 and in high school when his band used to play at local shows I would attend. His group of friends would attend the same parties/shows as my group of friends, and we knew each other casually, but we never became closer friends at the time. I remember really, really thinking he was super cool, and I loved his band. He was very eccentric, he always wore interesting clothing and would wear makeup and paint his nails, like a bit glam-rock mixed with punk mixed with surf rock. He was just cool, and I liked him, but I didn’t think he was straight, and I was 17 and super insecure, so I never asked him to hang out or anything.

So six years pass, and I run into him at a local show. I hadn’t seen him in sooooo long and I was so excited to see him. We talked for a bit and I got his number and texted him the next day telling him how great it was running into him. He told me he was gonna be in my part of town the following week and that we should hang out. So we ended up getting coffee and talking about life and the past and how wonderful the period of life was in which we first met each other. It was a really beautiful, magical time back in high school, and we were so happy reminiscing on all the things we used to do. He told me he had recently broken up with his girlfriend, to which I said, “Wait, are you bi?” and he said, “Oh, no, I’m straight.” In my head, I was like, “AYYOOOO WUSSSUPP.” because I was super attracted to him but didn’t think he was straight. After the coffee date, I thought about him a lot and wondered if he was thinking about me like that as well, although I wasn’t sure.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? A week after our coffee date, he asked me to come up to where he lives near LA and attend a show of one of his friend’s bands. I drove up to see him and felt super nervous. I met him at his house and we bought whiskey and went to the show. It was super funny because I was wearing a black coat and he was wearing a trench coat and I felt very cool. The show ended up being super fun, although the people there were mostly young kids in high school that liked his band. We laughed about how old and lame we both were to be at a show with such young kids. We didn’t stay super long, and went back to his place. We were both being a bit awkward, we kept on talking about random stuff and drinking the whiskey while sitting alone in his room on his bed. After awhile I started awkwardly laughing, to which he was like, “What’s so funny?” and I replied, “Uhhhh are you gonna kiss me or should I kiss you?” He leaned over and started making out with me and it was really great.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We made out a bunch and took off our clothes and he went down on me. We also kinda just like cuddled and held each other and looked at each other. We kept telling me that I was ridiculously attractive, and that felt nice. We talked and made out and had sex and talked and hooked up some more for three or four hours, and then we fell asleep for a few hours and woke up and hooked up some more. It was really fun, and very intimate for the short time we’d been hanging out. It was nice though, because although we had never been super close, I had technically known him for seven years, and I felt a certain trust and connection with him because of that. I ended up telling him that it had always been my fantasy to be tied up and slapped and fucked aggressively, which he responded to by doing just that. That was pretty amazing, because I’ve never really talked to anybody about sexual fantasies and I’ve never acted on a sexual fantasy but it felt soooooo good. I got soooo wet and kept telling him to hit me harder and I have never been that turned on before. It made me realize that I have more of a kinky sexual side that I have never explored, or never though about exploring. I’ve had boyfriends and I’ve probably slept with over 20 guys, but it’s always just been vanilla sex. BORING.  I definitely realized that I love exploring sexuality in different contexts. I guess there was another level to the hookup though where I was kinda thinking, is it strange for me to want to get the shit beaten out of me while having sex? Like I kept telling him to hit me harder and to slap me and I had red hand marks on my ass for a few days, and it just felt sooooo good but I was kinda like, huh…..

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, we went and got Asian food. We texted each other and kept in contact. I felt great about it the next day, although I was a bit tired since I didn’t sleep much. It felt really great to have a different sort of relationship with someone I had known and liked platonically for so long. I felt very warm and fuzzy and excited about the future of our friendship. I also believed we were on the same page with what we wanted – a warm, caring, affectionate friend where we both lift each other up and say kind things to each other and also hook up. Like he’s been texting me calling me a “goddess” and that sort of thing and I’ve been doing the same, but I don’t want a “committed” relationship or anything like that, and I’m almost positive he doesn’t either, although we haven’t talked about it. I just really do care about him and I am excited to see him and I think he’s a great person, and I’d like to be his friend and do more intimate things with him for as long as that works out, but I don’t feel like I’d want to like be “boyfriend/girlfriend” with him cuz it just doesn’t seem like that. But I am excited to have a new friend with benefits because I think that sort of relationship can have some really great benefits for both parties.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Discussed STI testing history

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, I was feeling lonely, Making new friends, Boredom

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Talked to an old high school friend. She thought it was great and was like, “Woah he’s such a babe!! Oh my god!!”

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Getting to explore my fetishes.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Uhhhh sleeping two hours and being tired the next day.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yeah! It makes me want to explore my sexuality a lot more.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? The guy is a really wonderful person and I’m super stoked it happened as well as it was super sexually satisfying.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? It’s played an amazing role in my life because it’s taught me a lot about what I like and don’t like when comes to sex and intimacy.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It rules!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!

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