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What’s your gender? Woman
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? engineer
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Muslim
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Until recently I thought I was asexual.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? now kind of 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

His kiss felt like a lizard

How long ago did this hookup happen? a few days ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was an average looking guy from Brazil, he had beautiful eyes and eyelashes and a little beard which I liked.
I met him at the leasing office one fine day when we were both checking the computers. He entered a conversation with me, and I enjoyed his accent a lot. Having not met Brazilians before, I inquired about his country, culture, etc. He was very interested in me too, asked my number but I gave my facebook only. I thought he is an interesting guy who could be my friend and we could take walks together at times since we are neighbors.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? There are 3 important parts I want to share: 3 separate nights.

First one: we met on a Saturday night, outside. That weekend my boyfriend left the town and I was feeling lonely. We sat near some tall trees and he asked to hug me, for the nth time (I always refused physical contact). Finally I accepted the hug, I delayed in his arms because I liked it so much:) I was slowly getting back from the hug, and he was already kissing my neck, my cheeks, my face, it was very exciting. I couldn’t say stop.. we were rubbing our cheeks together, that touch was really magical, electric. He was kissing me without stopping. His kiss felt like a lizard, I was never kissed like that. After hugging in multiple positions, he started touching my butt a lot and kissing me from behind, but I never kissed him back that night. I kept repeating him that I have a boyfriend and he kept asking me “do you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend”. Finally I departed to my place, he asked me to sleep at his place, I declined.

Second part: we met outside again and he was bored with walking. I didn’t like public affection outside either, so I invited him to my place..

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He came to my place, he started kissing me again, again the electric feeling between us. It didn’t take long he was in my bed, I finally kissed him back, we were making out, his hands were moving incessantly over my back, he was touching my butt and always praising it saying it was sexy and how turned on he was. He knew I am a virgin and I don’t want sex, but his goal was to give me an oral. I didn’t let him touch inside, but he did touch outside over my panties and it felt awesome. He was skilled in kissing, touching and fingering. I was getting wet. He did something with his tongue over my panties, I was not quite feeling because of the two layers clothing 😀 His chest was very fine and his smell marvelous. He also kissed my chest and my neck and I loved it. I wasn’t doing much to him except kissing his lips and maybe neck, but he was very generous and dedicated with me. I stopped him from almost everything which might advance too much between us but then I did agree let’s be boyfriend and girlfriend and see what will happen. Next day I was happy and full of energy, the encounter was awesome, comforting. I thought I was going to have a boyfriend and start dating him…

Third part: We met another night again. That day I had a discussion with my current(future ex) boyfriend about not meeting anymore – I didn’t tell him I cheated him but that was the main reason I felt we should stop meeting. So I met the Brazilian at night, after waiting a whole day to contact me, he only contacted me at night, whether he can visit me. I was pissed off, I knew at that time he only wants to hookup with me.. He came and quickly got me into bed. I was down/sad because of my conversation with my ex that day, I felt bad for leaving him because I felt he was a good guy from our conversation. Hence, I was not very passionate with my new hookup. I didn’t even kiss him. I was completely turned off, all I wanted was to cuddle and maybe have a meaningful conversation. But he had other plans. He started to kiss me, etc etc, I wasn’t feeling anything. Then he started fingering me. He insisted a lot to give me an orgasm.. The way he was fingering me was different than what I usually do so it took an eternity for me to feel something. Finally, I had an unusual feeling, I felt like climbing the walls, losing control, my breath changed — I got panic with this new feeling and asked him to stop. He tried again later, again this strange feeling, I asked him to stop. I asked him to show me his cock at some point. I was so shy, couldn’t look at it, but I touched it, it was large, thick and circumcised. It felt very good, he was a gifted guy. However, probably I turned him off so much with my lack of passion that the thing could not stay up at all. At midnight he said he should leave, I also argued that I feel sleepy and I want to sleep; so I was happy he left. I was feeling so guilty, so down for leaving my ex, so cheap and easy to get for being in bed with someone who only wants me at night… really disappointed. His goal was to have sex with a virgin, which he had never had before. I just wanted a friend and dating someone for good.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Next day — feeling ashamed. I washed everything in the room, bed sheets, did laundry, cleaned the floor. I wanted to remove any trace of the guy. I stopped messaging him and just started avoiding him. I don’t want to meet him again. He just wants me for sex.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, To feel more confident, Making new friends, Boredom, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Nobody knows. My roommate saw shoes, not sure she knows who it was.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? Not what I was looking for. Too quick. I was too easy.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The guy was experienced, his body was cool despite the first day when I thought he was average.
He was smelling good. I started to copy his habit of taking 2 showers/day. I feel better like that too.
And… I learned a few things about Brazil.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I made sins.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made me experience that sensation alone, like when he was fingering me. I went further to see where it leads to and I got orgasm:) different feeling but still orgasm I guess.
I think casual sex is not for me.
I think of myself a little cheap/easy to get. Need to be cautious in the future.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Not for me. It was my first time getting into that,first time magical, second time already feeling guilty.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Nice idea! I keep reading to see what is the world we are living in.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!

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