by Cliff Claven

Gender: Male
Age: 51
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: Toronto
Highest education received: Not graduated from high-school
Occupation: Self employed
Relationship status: Seeing someone
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Middle aged crazy
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Life Altering

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2+ yrs.

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Paid sex?

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was unhappily married (20+ yrs) . The sex was uninspiring at best and left me feeling like life was slipping through my hands .
What she posted on her site intrigued me .. tantra- learn to be a better lover explained in a way that drew me in. She made it clear that our session was going to involve a counselling session followed by a tantric massage … nudity and touching but definitely no sex.
She was warm and open and put me at ease quickly . Although she was roughly my age she looked years younger , she was dark, petite and had a calm / confident demeanor.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met at her studio and it was easy for me to open up and share intimate details of my life. As easy as the ‘counselling’ session was …I started to feel nervous about the ‘massage portion’  probably because i was Mr. vanilla and she was a bona fide tantric goddess and she was about to give me a hands on lesson in ejaculatory control.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? There was a bed and small table in the massage room . Eastern instrumental music played softly , incense burned .. she gave me a few moments to undress and acclimate myself to my surroundings.
She came in wearing only black lace panties , I could feel my heart pounding , hear the blood rushing in my ears.
She sat in front of me on the bed and looked into my eyes . We moved into what she called the yab-yum position -sitting facing each other with her legs crossed and on top of my crossed legs . We began to breathe together ‘sharing breath’- she would exhale into my mouth as i would inhale and as i exhaled she would breathe in. She encouraged me to let go ,to get out of my head … to surrender to her touch.
She gently pushed me back onto the bed and her hands started to move over my skin, not a massage in the traditional sense , more like moving currents of energy in the space between her hands and my skin. When her fingers would graze my skin, shivers of energy would move through me. Each time i would move into my head and think about what she was doing, she would verbally command me to move back into my body and breathe. I remember her hands working slowly down my midsection and she stopped at my pubic bone and looked at me for a long moment , then she said ” breathe deep and let me know when you’re close”.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? The experience of her fingers moving over my cock still defy description. My hips were moving , pushing ,thrusting …but as soon they did her touch stopped . “breathe deep down into your balls , don’t move your hips and don’t think”  those words still echo in my head. I did as she told me for i don’t know how long . I could feel a buzzing deep down inside of me , and it started to move …. into my belly then into my chest … out into my arms . My body was twitching uncontrollably .With each breath this energy seemed to expand and move up until it filled my head with white light.
There is no sensation i can find to compare this to .
My entire body was convulsing for what seemed an eternity. i felt like I could stay like this forever.
Then it began to slow , the light faded and left me tingling everywhere , as if every cell in my body was filled with electricity.
I looked up at here and she was looking back with a devious smile.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I lay there for a long time , she lay beside me face to face caressing me with her eyes locked in mine. What i felt wasn’t lust or desire .. it was a deep gratitude. I pulled her close , wrapped my arms around here and held her for a long time.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I really can’t pinpoint the reasons , other than being unsatisfied with life in general and sexually unsatisfied in particular.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No drugs , no alcohol .

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Nothing in my life is the same since this encounter. I’m no longer with my wife. I have immersed myself in the practice of tantra. Not only the sexual aspects ,but all aspects including , breath work, meditation, understanding ego and discovering the joy of being more present everyday!

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I tried to speak to a girlfriend about this with a less than positive response… to some people paid sex is just a cheap and dirty thing to do.
When i tried to talk to a male friend about this he told me it was all in my head.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Definitely a wanted experience on my part.
I have been back a few times and there is more than a little chemistry between us.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? How on earth could i regret such a life altering experience . I am forever in her debt , my life has meaning because of her and this encounter.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I’ve grown and changed in so many ways because of this.
If there is anything negative about this , it’s that the sexual bar has been set unrealistically high which leads to disappointment sometimes.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? What a great site !
and… if you get the opportunity give tantra a try.

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