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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? SoCal
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? Model/actor
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly gay/lesbian
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Rarely attracted to men. Prefer women sexually, usually. Check out girls, not guys.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 45
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? several

Lust…Love?

How long ago did this hookup happen? Three weeks

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? May get serious

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Met her last summer at a hot yoga class. She took my breath away. Almost as tall as I am, slender, great figure, hot hot hot body and a beautiful, breathtaking face…blue eyes, blonde hair, a little sprinkle of cute freckles around her nose. Terrific smile…and little dimples too. Youngish…19, it turned out. 2nd year at UCLA. We chatted a little but nothing pinged. Oh,, I thought, another straight girl….but in this case looking at her made me ache. (Yes, I got myself off a couple of times thinking about her too. What’s the point of writing this stuff unless you tell the whole story.)Then, at some point she stopped coming, and I put her out of my mind.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? A couple of months ago I was doing my acting class and was in a scene when she came into the studio with one of the instructors and I saw her and practically blew my lines. She’s a theater arts major and was just doing a little tour. (UCLA’s program sucks btw.) But she hanged around after and we talked some and even had coffee. So my pulse was raising. If anybody has read some of my other hookups on this site you would know 1, I’m usually the hot girl, 2, I’m super confident around girls, 3, I know all the lines (which is sad, really)…but I felt tongue-tied and stupid. It was a great talk, though. She’s smart and cute and mature, really. Dad is a doctor, like mine. So we started having coffee, and it was like I was getting to know her, and I began to feel there was something there on her side. We went to a movie and in the car afterward I made a pass at her and at first she kissed back and then pushed me away and we drove home pretty much in silence and she got out of the car when I let her off without saying goodbye. I felt terrible and texted her to say I was sorry for coming on to her and told her I liked her a lot and we should be friends if that was all she wanted.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Well, she didn’t text back until the next day and she said she was sorry and that she liked me too but was confused about her feelings. (“Confused about my feelings” was exciting to hear the first time I heard it from a girl, lol, but now it’s mostly depressing. It usually means whatever we end up doing won’t be very fun, there may be crying involved eventually, and there will be a straight guy in the picture.) We saw each other again, and went for a walk on the SM pier, and she said she was attracted to me but had only had one experience with girls before besides some kiss-kiss games in middle school (short thing with her dorm RA.) She said she had known she liked girls forever but liked guys too and was, well, confused. So we just talked and were friends and then one day at my apartment we made out and she was relaxed and touching her and kissing her was incredible…when she responded to me I felt like I was in the middle of the universe…she wasn’t passive, she was hungry for me…we went to bed and had wonderful, incredible sex. I swear that her juice was sweet. (And she got as wet as any girl I have ever been with btw.) When she gave me oral I started to come and kept coming…I think I orgasmed seven times. Her boobs were incredible with long nipples and she practically orgasmed just from that. I felt so so connected to her when we were making love. It was wonderful. That night she slept over and in the morning I looked at that fresh cute face with the little freckles and I just ached for her all over again.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Honestly, I’m falling in love with this chick and maybe just maybe she’s falling in love with me. I have never felt like this. But she is SO young, with a whole She has 2 1/2 years of college still, and she thinks she may want a masters, and I don’t see how we have a future…but I ache when I don’t see her, and I ache when I do see her. She is mentally healthy and beautiful and I don’t feel any desire to fuck another girl…am afraid those feelings will return, of course. I don’t know what to do. We’re dating now, I met her roommates, she is giddy with me….but I don’t think it will end well. And just writing that makes me want to cry.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Thought it was an important experience to have, Intoxication

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A couple of friends. I don’t know….surprise, I guess.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? HER.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Me knowing what will probably happen.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Oh I am obviously pretty fucked up. I am falling for this girl and am afraid that my sex addiction will destroy her emotionally at some point and even if it doesn’t circumstances will end things and I’ll be back to picking up girls so that I can fuck them.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Sex with a girl you care about is the best sex in the world.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I love being turned on, getting a response, getting a girl into bed, getting her to come, and my life has revolved around that, and it’s empty.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Cool. Thank you. Self-therapy.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!

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