Current location: Albany, NY
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
Relationship status: Married
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? No
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 20
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Surprise affair
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? It was my friend who worked night shift and my newlywed wife
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? My friend knew my wife before I did and always had the hots for her. He was always coming around and openly flirted. She always laughed it off and said he was like a brother to her.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I worked out of town sometimes on job sites and he was coming around while I was gone. She and I had kind of cooled down and I was not really showing her much attention. I had honestly thought maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a husband. She got lonely and he was ready. He would come over to chat with her when I was gone and one day things turned intimate. At first she regretted it, but it became an ongoing hook up that happened a few times a week, for about 6 months. We began to get close again and she broke it off after she got pregnant. Having a child brought us closer together and my friend stopped coming around. For years I didn’t know why. We have 3 children now and I only found out about this affair last year. I left for a while but after realizing how much I neglected her in the beginning I accepted it and decided that our last 15 or so years have been so good that I didn’t want to lose her.
Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? Not really relatable, however I have sometimes thought of her sleeping with him all that time and have masturbated. I haven’t told her because I don’t want her to think I am turned on by it. That’s just twisted.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? As far as I know he was clean, and I don’t know for sure if our oldest is mine because he looks like his mother. She says I’m the father even though I know that we seldom had sex, only once every other week or so. But my son is a teen now and honestly I don’t care to know.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Her reason was my lack of interest and feeling lonely with me gone so much. She says she didn’t go looking to cheat but honestly was considering leaving me at the time so she didn’t fight off my buddy’s advancements.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? None that I know of.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I feel more attachment to my wife now. Our sex life is good and although I’m dying to know the extent of her affair and details, I’m afraid she would know that it somehow turns me on with jealousy. I have seen my old friend and his wife a few times. We have even been out to dinner together. I can tell by the looks he gives my wife, he thinks he has a dirty little secret and that I’m clueless.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Only my wife, myself and her sister know. Her sister thinks I never found out and I’m kind of glad because I’d be embarrassed to be around her.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It certainly wasn’t consensual on my end. However in some strange way, I think it has made us closer. She insists that having him during that time was the only thing that kept her from moving back home.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I know I should absolutely regret it, and had I been a real husband back then and kept her satisfied she would never have strayed. However, I wasn’t ready to be there so in a weird way I should probably be thankful that he was taking care of her. It’s like she had two husbands to do the part of one.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing about this hook up is that she stayed with me and has never been unfaithful since. We are closer than ever. The worst part is all the great, erotic newlywed sex I should have been having.. She had with him. I figured it up one day and for 6/7 months he more than tripled the amount of sex that I had. And she never said but I’m sure it was better. She slipped that most days they were in bed until he had to leave for work and I know that when we rarely did have sex, it was traditional sex and was over fairly quickly. Looking back I should have noticed how she went from craving my touch to not caring either way.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I hope people don’t judge us. I understand why she did what she did, and I wouldn’t throw all the good years away for it.
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