by M

Gender: Male
Age: Mid-thirties
Race/ethnicity: German, white
Current location: Germany
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Engineer
Relationship status: Married
Religious affiliation: Raised catholic
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

My First

How long ago did this hookup happen? Roundabout 10 years

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Fuck-buddies

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met her via some mutual friends, we hung out a lot together. She was a bit on the heavy side. Before the hookup, I thought her nice, but not too smart and not too attractive. She was also very vocal about being sexually quite active. Part of our banter was her loudly (and correctly) guessing that I had no sexual experience, which I declined to comment.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? As I said, we hung a out a lot. Occasionally, she would make (drunken) passes at me, or I had her. Once, at an outdoor party, we made out a bit after she made a grab at my dick. The next time we met, I told her that I did not want a relationship but maybe we could be fuck buddies? She told it was bold of me to ask so openly, and she did not want a relationship either, but that she was on her period right then. The next time we met, at some party, she left pretty early and after some nudges from friends I follwed her to the subway and we went to her place.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We got naked on her bed and took turns massaging and fondling each other. Actually, we met several times and what we did then is pretty much a blur to me. I know I came pretty early in the fondling stage that she told me how the next time, we would both be more relaxed and have more fun. I know I went down on her and she praised me for my oral skills. I know I once woke her up in the night by fingering, and then we fucked and both liked it (but today I feel very bad about this way of waking her up). I also remember her sitting behind me, biting my back and giving me a handjob, which felt pretty hot.
She also said that I either was experienced, or a natural talent at sex, which I thought was a big deal then.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We only fucked with condoms (I insisted, she provided them). We did not use dental dams or anything when I did oral on her and I never came in or close to her mouth. But we did not really discuss STIs. I assume she was on the pill as she left the choice of condom or not to me.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Hornyness, but mostly I wanted to finally have some sexual experience.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? During the actual hook up, no. I think she was sometimes drunk in the time before.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We hung out in her bed and talked. I think I sometimes behaved a bit cold towards her, but mostly the most personal talks we had were after we had sex. She told me that she was afraid guys would forget her after an affair and that she would like to be someone’s first. Egoistic me still did not admit that in fact, she was my first sexual partner. I also got the feeling that she had many, many issues and that maybe chasing men was for her a distraction from them (I did not mention this feeling toward her)
After a few meetings, she ended the affair. We still met via said mutual friends until she had a falling out with them and we lost all contact.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? She talked to my roommate, who said something along the lines that I’d be the only guy not controlled by women, whatever that was supposed to mean. Some buddies of mine guessed at the affair and teased me for being with a ‘fat’ chick, but mostly for me behaving like that were something to be ashamed of.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes and yes all in all, expect the time I woke her up with a finger in her vagina. That was still welcome but she had no chance to consent I don’t feel good about that (don’t know about her, we never talked)

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No. I regret not telling her that she was my first.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was gaining some sexual experience and some confidence regarding sex (but not the whole bunch of surrounding interactions). The worst part was that I’m not sure we were entirely honest with our needs and wants to each other.
The hookup did not change the way I think or thought about sex and it did not boost my self esteem in a way that helped me to score with other women (what I had hoped for: “Now I’m no longer a virgin, somehow magically sexual contacts shall happen without me actively interacting with other people”). But for a while I thought I was pretty good at sex.
My attitude was, theoretically, always that people should do with each other what both want, and that casual sex is totally ok. Practically, this affair did not challenge this.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

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