What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 56
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Philadelphia, PA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Educator
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
My Friend’s Wife
How long ago did this hookup happen? 10 years
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? S has dark hair, is tall and has wonderful breasts that she keeps concealed. I was amazed when I got to meet them for the first time. Her husband and I worked together off and on and that’s how we all became friends.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? S and I had always been flirty, to the point we both were touchy feely, only when no one else could see. One night, at a local tavern, I stopped in and was surprised to see her with a group. I had a drink or two and said when I went to say goodbye when she asked me for a ride home. She had asked me to pull over because she wanted to ask me about “us”. Even though I’m married, my sex life was very infrequent, my wife has zero libido. (No sex now for the last 4 years). I had told her that I wanted to kiss her, and we had a quick make-out session in my car. She went on to tell me that she had never been with another man (she got pregnant in high school) and that she needed to experience more in life. She got nervous about being late and asked me to take her home. She wouldn’t let me get anywhere near her house so I dropped her off a few blocks away.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We only talked and made out, and started making plans for our first rendezvous. (Which will be my next story, and how it played out over the next 10 years). We agreed that we would become fuck buddies, because neither one of us was getting what we needed at home. We would be discreet, and careful, which we were successful at.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We followed through on our plans to hook up for real. We had a great time and continued seeing each other on a regular basis. It dwindled over time, the last sexual encounter was 2 years ago. I still care deeply for her, and we’ve tried to figure out how to get back together again, although we haven’t tried very hard.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Just her.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex was mind blowing. S’s blowjobs were amazing, and our encounters usually lasted only an hour or two, but we’d have multiple rounds.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? It hasn’t happened for a while now.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I’m a sexual person, and though I love my wife, I really need to get laid once in a while.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? At one point, S got too emotionally engaged and wanted us to leave our spouses and live happily ever after. I made it clear that would never happen. She was able to get past that, and we were able to continue. We both expressed that we loved each other romantically.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think polyamory is right for some people. Couples that aren’t on the same page sexually face challenges – I would never want to hurt my wife, but in the meantime, the lack of sex is enough for couples to break up. It could get ugly.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? This has been awesome reading the varied (and hot!) experiences others have had.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!