by Fern Gully

Gender: Female
Age: 27
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: Maryland
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Relationship status: Single
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 25
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

My Old Reliable

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 months/ongoing

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Fuck-buddies

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met CJ (not his real name) at a bar and we were immediately attracted to each other. Initially I was frustrated by his lack of interest in anything but a sexual relationship with me- at first because I imagined dating him seriously, and later because our dynamic remained one-sided- exclusively  sexual without affection, banter, or friendship. He is conventionally attractive but ultimately I think he is stunted in his ability to relate to women.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I hung out with him three times more before I sucked his dick, and twice more before we had intercourse. We developed a dynamic where we would have sex casually as frequently as a week apart, but often months would pass where we would not, usually because I was seeing someone exclusively. I had sex with CJ while I was supposedly exclusive with two different boyfriends. He has become my “old reliable” with whom I hook up when I’m available, for about three years.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? CJ will slap me and pull my hair during sex (vaginal, we’ve never done anal together), which I enjoy. He likes me to give him “road head” in the car, and for a long time I would do this in exchange for rides, when I didn’t have a car. He calls me “whore” and “slut” and we behave as if I’m “his whore” to some extent, although it’s not thorough enough that I would exactly call it role play. Once I told him he could pick me up for sex if he paid me $100, and he actually did it.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I can only orgasm about 20% with very focused finger stimulation, and I’ve never bothered to do this with CJ because the rough style of our encounters isn’t conducive to this. He usually has one orgasm- when he orgasms in my mouth he usually can’t do it again, and I have gotten mad at him for this as I consider it selfish.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I always use condoms with CJ, although I perform oral on him unprotected. I have an IUD, but during the time I’ve been fucking CJ intermittently, I have had other “serious” partners with whom I don’t use condoms, and therefore I feel obligated to protect their sexual health as well as mine by not having unprotected sex with CJ.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I’m attracted to him
Usually I have no other partners or he is the easiest person to hook up with
Sometimes having a different partner makes me feel extra sexy, in a “badass” kind of way
Often I would rather spend the night in a different bed, having sex,  if I have no evening plans, just for a change of scene

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Initially no, but I am extra likely to start texting him naked pictures and trying to hook up if I am out at night and have a drink or two. He has smoked pot a few times that we’ve hooked up.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? In the first months, I would “swear off” hooking up with him, because he didn’t want to know me better or hang out in a nonsexual way, which made me feel undervalued. It has been three years now and I no longer see him as someone I want to be very close to, and I like having the option of a casual sex partner who is safe and a “known quantity” and whom I still find attractive over time.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My close friends always know what I’m up to sexually and it quickly became funny, like, “Haha, did you fuck CJ again, you incorrigible creature” kind of thing.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? With most partners, I develop intimacy, affection, and friendship- if this isn’t possible, they usually don’t remain in my life. It is interesting to me that my dynamic with CJ lacks these things, but the small thing we have in common- enjoying a particular kind of sex occasionally- has remained enjoyable.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I know that this isn’t a single hookup but I feel like it is a kind of casual sex I haven’t seen described in other stories. I also wanted to describe an experience that had some negative sides, because I expect this type of sharing attracts mainly positive experiences, and the disappointment, limitations and and annoyance I felt were always a part of this, although I still consider it positive overall.

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