by Lola
Gender: Female

Age: 41
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Location: Europe
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Management Assistant
Religious affiliation: My own belief & Buddhism
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

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My Parisian Fling

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 months ago

How would you best classify this hookup? Sex with an ex

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I live in Europe and 20 years ago, he and I met as colleagues at some holiday resort in a European country. He was French, a real Parisian “beau”. At the time we both worked at the front office at the resort. He instantly fell in love with me and I with him as well, but we never really did it. I was still a virgin and very shy. We kissed though and cuddled a bit. We remained kissing friends for about 1 year, even after we both returned home after the summer job at the resort, then we lost contact. C’est la vie…

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He has always been circling in my mind, because the attraction was really there at the time. We were in love. I was just too shy to start a real relationship then. Six months ago I tracked him down via a social network site. I wanted to know how he was and so on. He replied back and 3 months later I went to Paris to visit him. We had not seen each other for 20 years. I am in a long-term relationship. However, he is not. He has been single for 6 years now, with no children. I have no children either. We met in Paris at some bar and then I noticed his state of mind. He has some sort of midlife crisis going on, depressive moods. I tried to cheer him up, but I felt all my energy flowing out. Not good. I stayed at his apartment in Paris for 2 whole weeks. We cooked together, (french) kissed everyday, very intensely. On my last night there we made love. I took the initiative.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He penetrated me and within minutes I had a vaginal orgasm, which I had not expected at all. It felt amazing, even days after. We kissed passionately. I knew very well that this would be the first and the last time we would be making love. He has some severe personal issues and he needs to get control of his life again.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I bought condoms at a pharmacy without him knowing it. On the last night I took the initiative and showed him the condoms. He was pleasantly surprised.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I wanted to know how he was doing, I wanted to see him, he was the first guy I was ever in love with and I guess lust was involved as well.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I am not in love with him today. I care for him as a good friend. He has admitted he still has feelings for me though, but I need him to get a clear state of mind first. We have decided to remain friends and we call and e-mail each other every week.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Nobody knows.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes, very consensual and wanted. On both sides.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No. I needed to do this, despite my current long-term relationship.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best was talking again after so many years, kissing, and making love (finally). Worst were his depressive moods. I have advised him to talk to someone, so he can get his issues solved. He has been very honest with me about these issues, he trusts me, which feels good. It has changed me in the sense that I now know that my current relationship isn’t all that. I need to think about me and my needs more often. Maybe I need to break up.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? We’ll see what the future brings… que sera, sera

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