What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Africa
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Music Composer/Producer
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
New In Town
How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a year older than me, blonde, quite tall and a bit goofy looking. Not bad looking, but not ridiculously handsome either. I had just moved to a new town and had been looking to make friends (hopefully with benefits)
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We’d been on a date before this and ended up skinny dipping in one of the rooftop pools at his apartment complex. We made out, but it stopped there.
Anyway, when he invited me for dinner the following evening at his place, I was open to the idea of hooking up and had an idea that’s where the evening would lead.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We were cuddling on his couch, watching a movie. Before I realized what was happening, he was on top of me, kissing me. This continued for a while, during which time he managed to nudge my legs open and started grinding against me. As the kissing intensified, he began dry humping me like some desperate, inexperienced teenager – that should have been my first clue.
After what seemed like an eternity of making out (not the best I might add, but I was willing to go with it if it led to anything else), I was beginning to get impatient. He hadn’t touched me, expect for embracing me. So, I suggested we move to his bedroom.
Once in his room, we undressed ourselves. I pushed him down on the bed and began kissing my way down his body, teasing his cock with light strokes of my tongue. He was very quiet, but I assumed he wasn’t a vocal lover. He could have been a statue for all I knew. He didn’t move or make a sound and he certainly didn’t seem interested in touching me. It was quite a surprise when he blew his load as I’d started to think he wasn’t enjoying it.
At this point, I thought there could only be three options: 1, he wasn’t enjoying it (and I pride myself on being able to give a pretty decent blow job), 2, he was an asshole who only cared about his own pleasure or 3, it suddenly dawned on me that he was a virgin.
I asked him if something was wrong and he said that he’d never “been all the way” before. His not being able to utter any slightly sexual words told me all I needed to know… I was not going to get the hookup I’d been hoping for.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I practically ran for it afterward – feeling hugely sexually frustrated and a little awkward to say the least. I realized then that I didn’t want to be the one to take his virginity. If I was going to hook up, I was going to hook up with a confident, experienced man, not a nervous, fumbling boy. I didn’t want to have to deal with the ramifications and sexual immaturity of the situation.
A few days later, I told him that I wanted to keep things platonic. All that awkwardness faded away and we’ve become quite good (platonic) friends.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant, No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Making new friends, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My closest friend who sympathizes with my frustrations.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? I regret not knowing that he was a virgin. It would have been easier if he hadn’t let things go so far.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The best thing? No…
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The fact that he waited until after the blow job to tell me he was a virgin.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex has been very empowering for me. Previously, I was in an awful relationship during which time I had no control whatsoever. Casual sex allows me to have some of that control that was taken from me and has also given me the opportunity to rebuild my confidence in my sexuality.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s a wonderful platform.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!