Race/ethnicity: White British
Current location: London, UK
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Around 250
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 years ago
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Fuck-buddies
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? N was a work colleague in my first job after I graduated from university. She was about five years older than me. She was tall with brown hair and tanned skin and had a great figure, but she was also a bit of a geek which made her interesting. I was very attracted to her pretty much as soon as we met.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We had been flirting around the office for weeks before it happened and getting to know each other a bit. I was single, and she lived with her boyfriend but they had an open relationship. Our flirting got to the point where we were looking for excuses to touch each other in conversation and it was like electricity every time we did. One afternoon, I was in a store room in the basement looking for a file. She was walking past in the corridor, saw me and came into the room. She just closed the door behind her and locked it, which made it clear what was about to happen.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We started kissing passionately, and soon she hitched up her skirt and grabbed my hand and had me slip it into her panties. I fingered her for a while to get her wet, then pulled off her panties, bent her over against a stack of boxes and began to have sex with her from behind, squeezing her butt a bit and holding on to her hips. It all happened very fast – I was too turned on to last very long and we knew there was a chance we could get caught. So pretty quickly I found myself just fucking her really hard until I came inside her.
Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I did, but N didn’t that first time.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Everything was very spontaneous and unplanned – it was the only time with a new sexual partner that I haven’t used a condom. We didn’t discuss STIs. We talked later that day and N told me she was on the pill.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was single. I found N extremely attractive and would have liked a relationship with her, but settled for hooking up because she was in a relationship already.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We kept hooking up regularly for about a year afterwards. I worked Saturdays on my own in the office, and N and I would hook up during my lunch break almost every week. She lived near the office, so if her boyfriend wasn’t around I would go to her place. Otherwise, she would come down to the office. Usually, we did it in an unused room which had a lock on the door, but sometimes we’d just do it on my desk, and we even risked doing it in the boardroom and on a sofa in the reception area.
Our arrangement ended when N got engaged to her boyfriend and they decided to exclusively sleep with each other. They are now married with a baby. Initially, I thought I wanted a romantic relationship with N, but I realised that the purely sexual relationship we ended up having actually suited us both far better.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Nobody – I don’t tend to discuss my sex life with friends.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No, it was incredible!
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I got to have sex with someone I found very interesting, funny and attractive, and the sex was always great! The worst thing was feeling like I wanted a romantic relationship at the beginning and couldn’t have it, but I moved past that very quickly.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
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