This post is sponsored by The T Bar.
What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 26
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? Africa
What country and/or city do you live in? Nigeria
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Writer
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? I truly have lost count.
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None.
One Night Stand On A Trip With My Boyfriend
How long ago did this hookup happen? Eight days ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s a singer and one I had admired but from a distance. Handsome and fit. I didn’t know him at all. I just went to watch a musical show he put up with his crew every month. I’d watch him perform and wonder why he cut off his long dreadlocks which was a part of him I admired. I felt good. I felt absolutely good.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was fooling around with my best friend and just randomly saying hi to people and accusing people of being our friends. They’d look at us absolutely dazed and then everyone would laugh. I walked up to the singer and asked why he hadn’t taken my calls
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? My best friend and I were fooling around at the end of the show. We’d walk up to strangers and accuse them of being our friends and then look absolutely mortified that had forgotten us. We’d all laugh at the end though. The singer was speaking to some of his friends so I walked up to him and asked why he stopped taking my calls. He turned to me and dramatically apologized missing my calls. I told him I’d forgive him if he gave me a hug. He said he’d do more. He hugged me and then knelt down to apologize. It was hilarious. He told me his name and asked for mine and we spontaneously kissed and hugged. The kissing went on for quite some time until my best friend said we needed to go to a dance club. He opted to drive us there since we were going to get an uber anyway. We got to the club and realised it was a No Single Ladies club. We couldn’t get in without men. We got back in the car, my best friend was friends with the singer’s buddy who came with us. He asked if I wanted to spend the night at his. My best friend didn’t mind since she wanted to have sex with her friend anyway. We had dinner, drinks, showered and I went to his bedroom with him. I gave him a blowjob (I love giving blowjob to someone I fancy) and he gave me head but I really wanted his dick in me. It was a glorious feeling. He bit my neck a little too much and I sensed he was into that sort of thing, but not me. I told him to be easy and it was fine. He was slow and yet firm. He moaned, as if he knew that nothing turns me on more than a moaning man. He was very passionate and I loved it so much I came and squirted too. The last time these happened to me was in 2009 with my first boyfriend. The following day, he cooked everyone breakfast, we ate and talked about my course and he seemed very interested in my works. We hugged and kissed a lot that morning. We ended up going back into the bedroom and doing it all over again. He gave me head but it was sort of boring. I told him to stop but he wanted to know why, especially since I also did it the night before. I told him it takes a long time to get me to cum and he asked me to tell him exactly what to do. I looked at his face, he seemed sincere. I told him I couldn’t moan while I was getting head, so the silence should not put him off. He needed to be stead with licking my clitoris. Sucking on it hurts. If he wanted me to come almost immediately, lick my clitoris and touch my nipples, my body would explode. He did that and I came before his dick went in. Sex was amazing. We were both relaxed and so into it. I squirted again. He came and we stayed in bed, talking about sex and about being open to many other ways of pleasuring. My best friend and I left his home later in the day and I couldn’t stop talking about the experience.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I left Nigeria two days after. We exchanged numbers and totally planned on meeting up the day before I traveled but that didn’t work out. I would absolutely see him again. It’s so rare that you have a one night stand with a person you’re entirely open with. And who was in return very open to satisfying me.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Just my best friend. She was happy for me, haha. She was having sex in the next room with her friend and she didn’t have as much fun as I did. She listened with eagerness and didn’t stop asking questions.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The truth in it. The freedom. The man moaned! That was low-key my thing, a thing I loved and fantasised about. I live in a society where it’s not manly for a man to moan. And there I had a man moaning without a care. I loved every bit of it.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing at all.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. I freer. I mean I became a free woman a few years back when I gave up religion and societal expectations. But this experience further solidified my trust in freedom. Freedom of expression in our sexualities and in other ways.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Nothing else.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I don’t really have any thoughts on causal sex specifically. I just want people to be free enough to be spontaneous sexually in whatever ways they choose. To not feel shamed or ashamed. To express themselves sexually. Of course I’d like more consent and protection, nothing more.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s interesting. It’s educating. It’s important to know that one’s not alone in the way that they feel about their sexuality and sexual needs.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!