by Jaqui

Gender: Female
Age: 45
Race/ethnicity: White
Location: England
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Information
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 7
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Ongoing Fuck Buddy

How long ago did this hookup happen? 16 months ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Fuck-buddies

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? 2 1/2 years ago a male friend of mine deliberately introduced me to a mate of his. We all worked at the same place though not the same department. I’d seen his friend around (at work & occasionally at the pub) but we’d never spoken. My friend is 10 years younger than me & his friend 8 years younger still! I didn’t think anything of it but he started messaging me offering casual sex if I was interested. At the time I laughed it off not taking it seriously. Up until that point I’d only had sex with someone I was in a relationship with & didn’t think I had it in me to just have casual sex with someone.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? About 6 months later I’d been out with a girl friend of mine & we’d gone back to mine after a night out for a couple more glasses of wine. We both had a message from this friend of a friend saying what you up to (he was her friend on FB too). We both messaged back explaining we were at mine & that we were laughing at him messaging us both. I’d explained to her at that point who he was.
He then messaged me back asking to come over – no funny business just wanted to see me & maybe have a kiss & cuddle. He re-stated how much he liked me & that he really wanted to meet up. My friend said sure he should come over, which he did. 
She left soon after & left us alone. He started kissing me & even though I had said nothing would happen it very quickly escalated!

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We were on my couch & the kissing very quickly got VERY hot & heavy. Pretty soon my top was off & he was trying to unhook my bra. At that point I said lets go upstairs – more room! I gave him oral & he used my rabbit vibrator on me. We had penetrative sex missionary & doggy style. He came but I didn’t (but then I never do during sex).
He apologised for coming so soon & I told him not to be silly it was fine & that I’d really enjoyed it (which I had). He asked if we could do it again & said we’ll see.
3/4 hour after he arrived he left.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I’m on the contraceptive injection & we used a condom – no history was discussed

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? It just sort of happened & I though what the hell! It’s not like we could have a relationship as he was so much younger than me. I knew he’d eventually want to settle down & have kids & he knew that I’d already done all that. We both just wanted sex. Casual no strings no emotions sex.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We’d both been out earlier that night & had quite a lot of alcohol.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was pleasantly surprised at how I felt. I felt fine. No “will he call me” jitters or emotional “how was it” nerves.
16 months later we still meet up on a regular basis & if you ever saw us together (we do end up out in a group) you’d never have the first clue. We literally meet up have sex then go our separate ways. Clean & mess free (well, almost ;0) lol).

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My friend who was there the first night knew & my friend who tried to get us together in the first place & since then a few people have found out that I’m having this casual sexual encounter but they don’t know who he is.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Absolutely! He even made sure the 2nd time that we were sober just to make sure I was ok with it.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Absolutely not!

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It’s been great to know that someone finds me attractive & fulfills a need I never really appreciated I had. I have complete control over the situation & the only time I’ve considered stopping it was when I started seeing someone seriously, though that didn’t work out so our liaisons have continued.
I never understood one night stands – how they could make you feel good. I’m still not sure about them but now have a better understanding of how positive they could be, as long as you are completely honest with yourself.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I’ve been single for almost 8 years & have tried dating a couple of times but I find its just too stressful! This “hookup” is stress & emotion free & I can enjoy it for what it is as well as the secret nature of it.
As a grown woman with 2 teenage children its hard to balance your home life with your sexual one. This is the best of both worlds!

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