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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 37
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 30
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Only Threesome

How long ago did this hookup happen? 16 years

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Group sex

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Partners were two women, we were all in our second year in college and lived in the same dorm. None of us were in committed relationships and were hooking up with different people. I had hooked up with both of them separately before. With R the sex had not been great but it was fun and I thought she was confident and smart. L had a kind of nervous personality and didn’t seem very confident but the times we had hooked up the sex had been terrific.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? L and R both came to me and said they’d been talking and were interested in having a threesome since I’d slept with both of them separately. L and I had never done anything like that before but R had a lot of queer friends from her first year of college and she had experience with several group encounters. There was a room in our dorm that was unoccupied but had a bed in it, the dorm collectively used it as a hook up room. We planned a certain night to use it, put sheets on the bed. R said in her experience it was good if we agreed to take turns concentrating on one person at a time.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It started with R going down on me while L watched. L started to touch my legs and stomach. All of this felt a little forced. Then L went down on me and it felt much better. R was looking at us and said “you guys have great chemistry” which got me excited.

I stopped L because I didn’t want to cum yet and I started to go down on R, L watched us. She started to look upset and said she was starting to freak out. We all stopped and R and I said it was ok but L wanted to stop right there.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? L and I went to talk since she was pretty freaked out. She was crying and just saying it was too intense for her and I tried to be understanding but I was mostly frustrated and annoyed with her for stopping it before we’d really gotten in to it. My tone of voice wasn’t very sympathetic.

I never hooked up with R again but we stayed friends. L and I were not good friends and I remained annoyed with her but we did sleep together one more time at the end of the school year, which felt sexually satisfying but I don’t think either of us felt great about it afterwards.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Discussed STI testing history, No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, Boredom

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told a male friend at the time and they just thought it was a strange story and thought I shouldn’t be sleeping with L to begin with.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I had always wanted to get with two girls and was glad to actually have the experience of it. Learned I wasn’t too shy to have sex in front of someone.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Wasn’t sexually satisfying for any of us, L obviously got very freaked out and seemed hurt by it.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I was surprised at myself at how unsympathetic I was for L, I wasn’t happy she was hurt but I was annoyed that she had come to me with R and planned this and then ended up freaking out before we really got started. Also learned how awkward and charged a threesome can be as everything felt forced and there was no point where everything just flowed.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I am completely open to safe, consensual casual sex. I’m in a committed relationship now that I wish was open but I respect my partner not wanting it open. Most of my life I have been single and just slept with people casually. The best sex I’ve had has been casual hook ups outside of a committed relationship.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!

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