Here at The Casual Sex Project, we’re not afraid to talk about butt stuff for two weeks in a row. Last week, we called out Amber Rose for using anal play as a means of sex shaming. Not cool. Cue the think pieces about anal sex and anal play, few of them actually sexy or interesting. NY Magazine declared 2014 the year “anal went mainstream,” but emphasized a heterosexual experience where men pressure their female partners into anal sex. Sure, that’s a thing. But it misses a major point: it’s men who would benefit most from receiving anal stimulation. Because…the prostate.

Men–gay, straight, bi, and everyone in-between–we’re talking to you. You have an amazing bundle of nerves just inside the anus, the prostate AKA the P-Spot, that’s just waiting to be stimulated. As a male (straight) friend of ours once said, “If you have a prostate and you’re not playing with it, you’re wasting it.”

So, instead of doing the usual Valentine’s Day couples-stuff, or, if you’re single, staying home watching Netflix alone, we have an idea for a VDay date that may end in the most intense orgasms of your life.

Invite your date to a dinner or drinks. If you don’t have a long-term partner, invite one of your friends-with-benefits or casual lovers, someone you know who has an adventurous streak. As you’re planning your evening, pique your date’s interest with a flirty-but-vague text message: “I want to play a game on Valentine’s Day.” Don’t go into detail. Secrets are seductive!

Then, meet your partner for a drink in a public place and stealthily hand over a remote control. Tell her or him that when they turn it on, the prostate massage toy you are currently wearing will start vibrating, sending increasingly intense, pleasurable sensations to your prostate and anus. Terribly distracting, too, so you will need all the self-control you can muster to carry on normal conversation, Wouldn’t want your waiter to know you’re getting a powerful prostate massage while ordering your cocktail!

Giving away control for a couple of hours can be fun and liberating, even if you’re used to being the one on top. Your date will relish his or her unusual opportunity to tease you at the click of a button. Just notice what happens when your partner simply shakes the remote or tries any of the vibrating patterns available.

By the time you’ve taken your date somewhere more private, the anticipation will be palpable. Rip each other’s clothes off and explore each other’s bodies freely, adding penile stimulation with hands or mouth. Just like many women enjoy the combo of g-spot and clitoral stimulation at the same time, many men enjoy the p-spot and penile stimulation combo. Or try having penetrative sex, cowgirl- or reverse cowgirl-style in particular, all while keeping your toy inside.

This combination of sensations is virtually guaranteed to be exquisite, if not downright mind-blowing.

What toy enables you to create this movie-like scenario?

There are a couple of options on the market, but our absolute favorite is LELO’s Hugo™, a remote controlled prostate massager with two vibrating heads. One goes inside the anus and stimulates your prostate while the other remains external and vibrates against your perineum. The external surface is flat enough that you can sit on a restaurant chair quite comfortably for a while and the smooth, body-safe silicone allows for pleasant, easy insertion with a bit of water-based lube (not silicone!). The 8 different settings open up endless pleasurable possibilities for play. You can even shake the remote and the vibrations will be transmitted Hugo™. And the wireless remote? It works from a distance up to 12 meters!

This is what our official Hugo™ tester, Kenneth Play, a sex and fitness hacker, had to say about this toy and prostate play more generally. (He’s reporting from his “working vacation” in Costa Rica–it’s a tough life being a sex educator!).

Of course, you don’t have to orchestrate an elaborate night out in order to turn your V-Day into a P-Day. Invite your date over and let her have fun inserting Hugo™ in you. In fact, you don’t even need to have a date to have some prostate-fun: The Hugo™ is an excellent addition to a nice, long masturbation session. 😉 And if the remote control sounds like more trouble than it’s worth, LELO has a cheaper, non-remote version of the Hugo: the Bruno!

Whatever you do this VDay, we hope you do something fun, and at least a little bit different than what you’ve done previous VDays. Life is short!

Get the Hugo™–or any other LELO products–for 20% off (and free shipping) by using code DRZHANA when you order from lelo.com! And, if you do try Hugo™ (or any other sex toys) during a casual sex encounter, be sure to share your story.

To learn more about P-Spot stimulation, visit the website for  Charlie Glickman‘s book, The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure. 

PS Love the Penelopi Jones clitoring Kenneth is wearing? Grab yours here.

This post was sponsored by Lelo.

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