What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 66
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Philadelphia
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Writer
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 60+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? One
At the receiving end of Black Power
How long ago did this hookup happen? About 2010
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? “Jordan” was African American, dark skinned, mid-40s, maybe 5’6″ and a little stocky. She was an academic, teaching at a university in a southern city. We met via a BDSM site when she mentioned plans to come to Philadelphia for an academic conference and asked Philadelphia-area kinky people what the city was like. I responded, and in the course of subsequent messages volunteered to pick her up at the airport and take her to her hotel. At the time, I was relatively new to — and extremely intrigued by — kink. She didn’t give me any bad vibes to worry about. Mostly, I was interested in trying something new.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I found Jordan at baggage claim, using whatever signals we had agreed on. If she was ill-at-ease in meeting a stranger, she didn’t show it. So, I put her bag in my bar and opened her door. It was about a 10-mile drive from the airport to her hotel in central Philadelphia, so we had a little time to talk about how we came to an interest in kink. At this point, I can’t recall any of what was said, but she seemed to be at ease. Before we arrived at her hotel, she remarked, “I knew I was going to like you,” and gave me a big smile.
I could have simply dropped her off at the curb like a cabbie. But, when we arrived, she asked me to come in with her. As I recall, I left Jordan and her bag at the curb and went to find a parking garage. By the time I returned, she had gotten her room key and was waiting in the lobby.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? “Carry my bag,” said Jordan, “and remember to always walk behind me.” When we reached the elevator, I pushed the Up button and, after she entered and stood in a rear corner, I followed, asked her floor and pushed the appropriate button. When we reached her floor, she exited and I followed with her bag. At her door, she handed me her room key (card), which I swiped, opened the door and stood back so that she could enter first.
Inside, she directed me to open her bag and transfer several of the garments inside to hangers, which I then hung in her closet. That done, she ordered me to strip and get on my knees. Naturally, I obeyed.
“Have you ever been with a black woman?” asked Jordan. I hadn’t. “Well,” she said, “It doesn’t matter. I’m not like any other woman anyway.” She presented her feet to worship. So, there I was — naked, white, on my knees and licking/sucking the toes of an African American woman. She sighed and leaned back on the bed. This continued for 10-15 minutes, when she stood up to remove her clothes. She didn’t do it herself, however, but instructed me to help her out of each item, hanging it up as specified. When she was naked, she instructed me to turn down the bed, then took her place in the center. “Now,” she said, looking at me with a smile, “you’re gonna use that cracker tongue of yours to please some black pussy.”
“Race language” is not something I use, but I was there for a learning experience. It worked for her, at least in this situation, so it worked for me. So, I licked and sucked, and she bucked and screamed. Periodically, we would rest and lay next to each other. She liked to cause pain but, since she hadn’t brought her kink toy bag, she was restricted to her hands and fingers. She twisted my nipples, a lot. They were sore for a couple of days. After a bit of rest, she told me, “Get your face back down between my legs, honky.”
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? She had an evening function, and I had obligations, too. After I dressed, she asked if I wanted to come back. “Of course,” I said.
I had no expectations, and found the experience interesting. In my experience, women are nice and nurturing, so the challenge of pleasing a woman who was simply demanding was new. I rather liked it.
We live at a distance from each other, so neither of us had any expectations of a long-term relationship.
Her use of racial language made me wonder about her interior life. She was fairly accomplished in a professional sense, but was she also full of racial resentments that she was looking to express by (slightly) hurting a white man”? Do other African American women have an urge to have a naked white man on his knees worshipping their feet? I have no way of knowing, but it would be interesting to explore this country’s weird racial culture.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel more confident, Power / Dominance, Submission / Relinquishing power, Making new friends, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told no one.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I enjoy new experiences, and this was unlike any I’ve ever had. So, a win!
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That she didn’t have her toy bag. One thing I really like about being the sub in D/s femdom relationships is learning how dirty the female mind can be. So, I wonder what else she might have done with more equipment. (An orgasm is always nice, but also only happens at the discretion of the domme.)
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? As long as everyone is an adult and playing safely, sex is always a wonderful thing.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I went back for more of the same two days later, before she flew home at the end of her conference.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? It’s amazing how many of life’s experiences are due, to one degree or another, to the possession of genitals.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great! But I also think that it’s like a church for people who already believe. It’s the infidels (monogamists, etc.) who really need to be reached.
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