What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 40
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Canada
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 40+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Sweaty Mushroom Sex
How long ago did this hookup happen? 20 years
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met in Junior High School. I was a skater kid new to the school and she was a popular, pretty girl, gregarious and warm. She had a magnetism that drew me to her even then, although we moved in different social circles. I can remember being at little spiked-punch and chips-type parties with her maybe a couple of times but I thought I was more cool than all those kids because I was into swigging mickeys and dropping acid and punk rock. Every kid who wasn’t delinquent at that age seemed square to me. However at the end of the year she wrote her phone number in my yearbook in all caps and an exclamation mark, saying CALL ME, which caught my attention. It’s probably exaggerating to say, but it feels true, I practically learned to masturbate looking at her photo and reading that write up. But I never called her, not yet.
Another school year and the next summer rolled around, we ran into each other at an outdoor festival concert. I had eaten mushrooms and was reeling. She grabbed my arms around her hips and pulled me into the crowd to watch the music. I remember the feel of her flat stomach, yearning to slide my hands up beneath her tank top and worrying that I’d get hard and she’d feel it against her ass. I may have, and she might have, thinking back – but the mushrooms made everything weird and I didn’t get swept away in that particular moment and we went our separate ways.
After high school was when we really got to know each other. She’d have house parties and we’d drink and dance and she often had boyfriends but in between those times we’d make out a little. It all felt very casual and freeing in a way that I was unaccustomed to. Usually, I felt girls wanted something from me that I either couldn’t or didn’t want to provide, like commitment for example, or more accurately a sense of resposibility, building a future. I was not interested in building a future with or for anybody, myself included. But she seemed pleased with who I was for the moment only and that made me feel good.
One particular moment had undeniable lasting impact on me. We were at a house party and she had a crush on a guy, a square Christian sort, and when he left for the night, she had kissed him. There was a different girl there that I had an undefined thing with as well and that girl wanted me to leave with her, but I didn’t, she left, and at the end of the night those of us staying the night found ourselves spots on couches and floors and this girl and I found a blanket and snuggled in close, our hands busy under clothes, talking to each other. She told me about how excited she was to have kissed the square guy even as we pressed our bodies close, her thighs encircling my hips, my cock hard agains her moistening panties. I can remember licking her nipples her body writhing as she said her crushes name. I had never had a moment with a girl like that – just two people without manipulations or agendas directed at each other, indifferent to wider social contexts, wanting only to give pleasure in that moment and nothing else.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Our social worlds didn’t always intersect but we made plans and got together often, sometimes made out and had sex. This particular time I remember felt a bit awkward at first. We ate mushrooms (now that I think of it, just like I did at the concert years earlier) and walked through neighbourhoods, past the church down my street. I remember the steeple stuck up like a middle finger to the sky. We knew we were going to have sex that night because there were no interfering factors, no competing social dynamics, just the two of us in our natural state of relaxation together.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We talked and got to a point of feeling connected, we may not have been making objective sense, but when we got back to my basement suite and into my bed our clothes came off straighforward, no room for misinterpretation. I don’t know if I’ll ever lose the image of her naked silhouette from the moonlight streaming through. Most of the rest is a blur and was even at the time. Hungry kissing. Her beautiful breasts. Sweaty bodies. I know I must have gone down on her because I loved going down on her. We fucked hard and for a long time. I drifted in and out of awareness. She seemed completely lost, riding me. It was the entire night, I know that much.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We continued to make out and fuck sometimes. Then I moved to another town and she went travelling and returned with a boyfriend soon to follow. He was moving to the country to be with her. Still not surveiled for the time being a least we shared some pleasant nights together under blankets. I traced my fingers around her nipples while we talked but there was always the awareness that we should not be doing this because her new relationship was serious. Once during that new boyfriend time period driving down the road together and she told me that that time together on mushrooms, “that was… that was… (she had) never had sex like that before. It was the best ever.” I agreed and I clung to that sentiment, even as years passed and we each undoubted had plenty of sex in new exciting ways. She stayed with that guy for years and eventually married somebody else. I did not. Still, I always liked to think, she and I shared a special connection.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Intoxication, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Hallucinogens (LSD, mushrooms, DMT…)
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Hallucinogens (LSD, mushrooms, DMT…)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I think a few friends knew but not much about it.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The closeness, the feeling of freedom. Her specific beauty.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That it was so long ago.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I think she changed who I am, disrupted innocence. That unencumbered non needy non judgmental non competive sex laid waste to my childish assumptions.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Do what you like
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Well done
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