What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 45
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Switzerland
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Entrepreneur
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Some spirituality
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Non-monogamous
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Somewheree between 15 and 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
The Gardener in the Woods
How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 months
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met on a fling website and then had coffee. I felt really interested – he’s younger and good looking to me.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I meant to find time free for both and a location as we are both in a relationship – this was not so hard. Weather was nice so we went to the woods and as he is a gardener, we talked about plants for a bit and then went straight to business.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had sex, which was normal, but nice-and a bit disturbed by insects.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We went back to the city -he left me at a crossing and I went about my business. He never got in touch again. Maybe he didn’t like it or maybe he likes to change partners often just like me.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Nobody
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Being out in the woods and cuddling up after good sex – listening to birds watching sun rays in the leaves…
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not getting in touch after, but it was not so bad really
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? not really … well yes actually it was my first extramarital hookup after 11 years of absolute faithfulness and it felt so good I decided there and then that I must have more often and that my doubts about not being monogamous in nature were right! I like to change partners I like men and I like to discover different ways to have and give pleasure.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Actually, meet-up websites are a good thing – they make hooking up easier – then relationships are just that –
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? should be mandatory… should be considered normal – well maybe I have bonobo ancestry
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Bravo! Go for it-let’s normalize casual sex!
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