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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 24
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? NYC
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
I had a thing for married men
How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was going through a phase and had fantasized about hooking up with a married man. That’s how I eventually connected with M on Ashley Madison. He was married, or separated, the details were always a little unclear. M was older than me, about 30 at the time. He was just under 6′, broad and muscular, with dark skin and a shaved head. He had a killer smile and had a great sense of style.
We chatted for about a week before I agreed to meet him. He was a gentleman and wanted to take me on a date before doing anything physical. I liked that to him, sex was exponentially better when you had a connection with someone. I think he could also sense my nervousness about my safety and about meeting someone on the internet. We decided to meet at a coffee shop near Columbus Circle before seeing a baseball game. I sat sipping an iced tea, waiting for him to arrive, and was relieved to see he looked like his picture. He greeted me with a hug and instantly made me feel comfortable. We chatted for a short while and then took the subway together to the stadium. M’s job gave him some swanky club tickets so we went to one of the exclusive areas and ate and watched the game. I was surprised at how comfortable he made me feel, and how little he pished himself on me. There were light touches, his hand on my back or my knee, but they were all very innocent. We got a few drinks after the game and then went back to the city. I had to meet a friend for dinner, so he gave me a sweet kiss and we parted ways for a while.
Later that night, he insisted on meeting me at Penn Station before I caught my train home. He grabbed my waist and kissed me deeply, sliding his soft tongue into my mouth. We made out in the station until my train came. I didn’t care that everyone around us saw him grabbing my ass through the thin fabric of my sundress.
He couldn’t wait long before seeing me again. He booked a hotel room near my hometown in NJ the next day and insisted I meet him there.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was nervous about meeting him at the hotel, but I was soaking wet all night just thinking about it. He gave me the address and room number of the hotel and I met him there. The hotel was small and quaint, but they probably knew exactly where I was heading when I walked past the desk in the lobby and directly to the elevator. I knocked on his room door, and he opened it holding a bottle of white wine.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? M lead me into the room and offered me some wine. I gladly accepted, and we sat on the bed talking for a few minutes before our lips met again. He placed our wine glasses on the table, and he began to peel off my our clothes. He kissed down my neck and fondled my breasts and played with my nipples. He stood over me on the bed and began to rub my clit gently. He leaned down and his tongue began to massage my clit, while he gingerly slid a finger inside me. I was reeling with excitement, and I ached to him to enter me. His black cock was thicker and bigger than I’ve ever had before, and I bit my lip with excitement when I saw him pull out a magnum condom wrapper. He quickly put on the condom while standing next to the bed and he swiftly pushed into my wet pussy. I groaned with pleasure, loving how he completely filled me. He began thrusting slowly, and climbed on top of me to push inside me deeper and faster. Eventually we switched positions and he wanted me to ride him. I rode his thick cock until he groaned and came inside me. He left me more sore and swollen than I’d ever been before, I was definitely not used to someone his size.
I loved how confident he was, and how he really knew what he was doing. He talked about how his current marriage had lost its spark, and he no longer had sex with his wife out of passion, only obligation. They also rarely saw each other because she traveled for work. The forbidden aspect of the hookup heightened the whole experience. We stayed together and talked for a little while before getting dressed and leaving the hotel together and then going separate ways.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We continued to talk and hook up for a few months. We went out on more dates, I liked that he was cultured and interested in more than just sex. He was also an adventurous and passionate lover. Once we fucked in his apartment, in the bed he shared with his wife. Another time we fucked outside on the roof of his loft. He wanted to continue seeing each other after his separation was official, but I could tell he was starting to develop feelings. I told him from the beginning I wasn’t looking for anything serious so I broke it off. He tried to tempt me with an offer of a threesome with a cute blonde hipster chick, which was so tempting but I had to say no. I still think about him often and wonder what would have happened if we continued to see each other.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant, Discussed STI testing history
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told some of my close college friends. We were all going through an experimental phase, and they were shocked but excited for me.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Getting to fulfill my fantasy of sleeping with a married man. The forbidden aspect of it.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I got abnormally sore and swollen every time after fucking him. I also realized shortly after that I tested positive for HPV, the non-cancerous and non-dangerous kind. Apparently 90% of sexually active people get it at some point so it’s possible it happened from someone else.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made me more open to casual sex.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I wish my current boyfriend were more adventurous and interested in opening things up outside our relationship.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s a great forum for encouraging openness about sex.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!