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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 30
What’s your race/ethnicity? East Asian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? London
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Management consultant
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Under 40
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Thoroughly fucked in a desert

How long ago did this hookup happen? Two weeks

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s typically northern Italian so he was tall, brunette and good looking in a Mediterranean way. I met him and his buddy at a train station in China when I was also travelling with a buddy from home.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We all hung out as a group like you would when you’ve met people on the road. We did like two days of exploring the town and by day two we all sneaked into this national park that was a vast desert. We climbed massive sand dunes and watched the sunset at the top, and when I jumped back down from the fence to leave the park, he asked me across the fence in private, “would you stayed the night with me in the desert tonight?” I said yes for a laugh.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We spent ages setting up the tent and then just hung out with a beer outside for ages. He held my hand when we were talking and gradually we got closer and started kissing. I got into the tent and he got down on me and I found myself having quite a good time in a shabby tent which was pretty lol. I was begging for it after a while and he put a condom on like we agreed earlier. He turned out to have this HUGE dick when he entered me and I thought, “jackpot”. We were going missionary but I stopped him and got him to fuck me from behind. He was a few years younger and he fucked like a younger person, with that vitality that guys my age don’t have. I screamed like I was getting fucked good in a desert and held nothing back and I was focussed all way through. I loved the way he held my neck and my sholder like he owned me, the whole thing was so intense it felt like it was a sex scene in a movie.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We got kicked out of the desert by security guards lol and we got back to the hostel, showered and were at it once again. He went down on me and I came,the whole thing was more gentle and tender this time round. We were all getting the same flight the next day then transferring to different continents. We don’t really expect to see each other again but said it would be nice if our paths crossed again. It was a wonderful encounter.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Making new friends, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my travelling buddy and we had a good laugh.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was spontaneous, it was in a desert and we had lots to talk about and got on well. It felt like an adventure.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I was bloody freezing in that desert after we fell asleep (lol).

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I was more positive about how easy I could come , and I had more faith in other people in terms of it coukd feel so right when you make a connection with someone, and I felt more free and Zen because you don’t have to feel like you need to hang on to people you made a connection with. What you had together at that point in time is ample, and it’s enough.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? When I was in my early 20s I had hook ups for validation and to prove to myself that I’m adventurous, ie “not letting my best years go by”. I didn’t come and when I did it was never as hard as I wanted it to be. Now I’m 30 I feel more confident asking for/demanding what I want in bed and now I feel that I have hook ups for my desire and satisfaction.

I wish that girls and society would stop seeing the female as “having given something up” when they let a man enter her body. Sex is a wonderful thing and it is a win for both sexes.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s a wonderful collective where I could learn from other people’s experience and it lets me feel more empowered as a woman because I feel less alone when my own inner voice is slutshaming myself for fun sexual encounters. Like, other ladies are having fun too, and it’s OK.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!

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