What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 23
What’s your race/ethnicity? African
What continent do you live on? Africa
What country and/or city do you live in? South Africa
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Researcher
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Open minded
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? 2 on the Kinsey Scale
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10-20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? First time
How long ago did this hookup happen? 18 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met Tinder Tom on Tinder, he has short brown hair and with a decent body (which he showed off in his profile). He was taller than me – I’m about 1.56m – so he was maybe 1.70m. We matched on Tinder during sometime before Earth Day and we had chatted for a bit.
There was definitely some Tinder chemistry and we had a good rapport, we soon moved over to WhatsApp and it was really nice talking to him. He would text me everyday and we were exchanging details about our lives. At this point I can definitely how people get catfished and end up in these online relationships and fall in love etc. I was besotted.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The main event happened at my flat and it was instigated by the two of us from what I recall. On my part, I hadn’t done much planned, but he came well prepared for the whole thing with an overnight bag and all!
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Eventually we went on a date after previous attempts had failed because of university for both of us. I actually had a disastrous having missed a train to London from Manchester and having to navigate my way with no direct trains to London and it was pissing with rain and I was cold and massive pimple in the middle of my face so all in all quite a mess. Anyway, the first passed and I was very nervous so I kept drinking and got more nervous because I worried like I came off like a bit of an alcoholic. The date started late and so the end of the date was really spent walking to the tube. At some point though he pinned me up against a wall and we made out heavily. Whilst making out he gripped my neck and I was instantly wet. Unfortunately he couldn’t come home with me for whatever reason, I can’t remember, to be honest.
Flash forward maybe three weeks or so after more messaging with some flirty pics and dirty exchanges we went on another date, which was to be our last, which ended up with him at my flat. Ordinarily, I didn’t want to hook up with anyone at my house as I didn’t want their energy in my space so I quite reluctant but since he was living at home it was the only option. I was really looking forward to fucking Tinder Tom since that kiss I had just this very strong feeling that I had met someone who was into the same kinks as me and he was 28 so it also felt like I was going to be with someone who had some good experience years behind him.
So we enter my flat and as soon as the door closes and locks Tinder Tom has me pushed up against it. He starts kissing me and kisses my neck whilst I moved my hands along his body eventually touching him under his shirt. I grabs my neck and I become instantly wet. This is my first experience of some rough play which I knew I liked but hadn’t been able to fully express until this night. Clothes eventually come off and we move the bed still kissing, he touches my vagina and starts rubbing my clit in a delicious way. I move my hands to his cock but he grabs them firmly and moves them away. He starts sucking and licking my nipples and and gently bites them which only excited me more. He then goes down on me and this was okay. He was not that great at it and even when I gave him direction we just weren’t able to get into a stable rhythm. Sensing his frustration at not being able to pleasure me orally I pull him and and turn him over so that he is laying on this back. I kiss him and rub my clit against his dick and at this point I’m dripping. I start kissing his chest making my down to his cock and swiftly avoid his belly ring which I found quite strange given that he’s a grown ass man. Anyway, I go down to suck his and this having been the second uncut cock I’ve encountered I move the foreskin down but he actually wanted it up because of the sensitivity. It was a bit off-putting but I love sucking cock so I just continued to do my thing. He seemed to really enjoy this and grabbed my head whilst I did it but was not rough at all which I was grateful for. I’m a little less aroused but I’m ready for a good fucking. He opens a box of condoms which he came up and puts one on. We started off with missionary and then did doggy which is also my favourite position.
He then told me to wait whilst he looked for something in his bag. At this point I get some water because I’m parched. He finds what he was looking and it happened to man’s best friend – cable ties – I was pretty shocked but also intrigued. I had previously told him that I wanted to be tied and so he brought this as a gift to me to fulfill out this fantasy which I thought was sweet. So he tied my wrists together making sure it was secure (I have small wrists) but also not too tight. He then fucked me doggy whilst spanking me and pulling my braids and I become extremely wet that the sex was very slippery. Because of that he forced shut my legs and and I felt wetness dripping down the inside of my thighs. This had had never happened before and it turned me on even more. I begged him to fuck me harder and then a few thrusts later I jumped up and moved over to my couch. I got on the couch and opened my legs for his entry – he slapped me a bit for disobediently leaving him on the bed mid-fuck. After we fucked on the couch we moved to my desk chair but that bit was a hazy as it didn’t last long probably due to comfort. We got back on the bed and did doggy again with my face buried in blankets. I didn’t enjoy this one too much and sensing that he cut the cable ties and went back into missionary. I put my feet over his shoulder so that I got deeper penetration which was great. We were both getting tired and not being comfortable with being on top I never initiated it otherwise I would have liked to so that Tinder Tom could get have a bit of rest. He eventually came and stayed inside me for while after collapsing on me.
We went through about 5 condoms the whole night but just seemed to keep them in the box which I found odd but anyway he cleaned up and brushed his teeth and then we just went to bed. The next morning I woke and started to grind my ass by his cock to arouse him. I woke up feeling wet, my pussy had not being wet since the previous night.I then gave him a blow job but as soon as I licked his cock I could taste my handwash on his cock. Like had he seriously washed his cock with soap and water? I found that a bit bizarre and maybe I was a little hurt as well but swiftly got over it even though I was basically sucking on soapy cock. We fucked once more and again I was barely on top. He came more quickly this time and then took a shower whilst I made a breakfast fruit salad. We both ate breakfast then he left. We talked for a bit afterwards and I wanted to have sex with him but he didn’t seem interested so it basically just fizzled out. I was a bit disappointed but it was at that time the best sex of my life and just finding someone who seemed to me like a sexual equal was also really nice.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt sexually liberated, free, and open. I was very happy to explore this side of me with someone who was willing and made me feel desirable. I think I did want something more but yeah Tinder hookups even with the sweetest guys can be just that. I’m grateful to Tinder Tom and his cable ties.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, Submission / Relinquishing power
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Two close friends – I was so excited and they were also excited for me.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Being cable tied and fucked from behind feeling my juices trickle down my legs.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The date before and the cab ride to my flat.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made me more open and more communicative about my desires.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Nope.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I used to be so averse from it coming a slightly conservative society. But during my first year I stayed in halls and these two girls who lived on my floor were always having sex and it was revolutionary to me. I did judge them at first but living in London made me open to the idea. I was still a virgin at the time but I very much wanted to fuck. I think it’s becoming less taboo because of things like Tinder which has made online dating and casual sex more visible and more acceptable.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? LOVE IT! I discovered it because of Broadly article, it’s actually enabled me to live put fantasies through other people’s experiences. Also It’s just great to se the diversity of people’s sexual preferences/desires/kinks/writing.
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