by bluedress

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 27
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What country and/or city do you live in? New Zealand
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Secretary
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Asexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 18
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Used for a Blowjob

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Guy I would run into at local bars. Well-dressed, young professional suit-type. He got my number. I text him more that he texts me. I really liked him and wanted ‘something’ – just to be liked by him. Looking back, he was so NOT interested and was just playing with me cos he was bored.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Ran into each other at a large party. A lot of alcohol led to flirting. We shared a taxi in the direction of our homes and laughed a lot during the journey. He invited me back to his place and led me to his bedroom…

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He kissed me. We kissed. He fingered me briefly. He moved my head toward his crotch and sprang his erection in my face. What else could I do but give him what he wanted. Sucked him off. He came quickly. He unzipped and left the room. I had to follow, help myself to a water (to sober myself up), and make uncomfortable small talk with his room mates, for all of 5 minutes before I left in shame.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next day I felt hungover and ashamed. Texts between us tapered off. I feel so stupid. I put-out because I want to be liked by men. If I saw him again I would throw a drink in his face (or over his crotch!)

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Intoxication, To feel more desirable, Submission / Relinquishing power, Didn’t want to disappoint my partner, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, I didn’t want it but was unable to stop it

How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Told no one. Feeling the wrath of guilt and shame

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? Was completely foolish, I should know better, I must wise up to men who just use women for sex then discard them. He cared zero for me. I look like a tramp. God knows what he’s told his friends about me.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I was used.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Scarred me. I hate men. I am a passive loser.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I have never had a positive experience. All have been coercive on the part of the man. Alcohol often involved. Mostly I just succumb to their pressure – I get so sick of telling them NO or just giving them oral sex to shut them up, sometimes it’s easier to let them have their way that to explain my reasons for not wanting to have sex. Rather than (women) giving consent, how about a clear willingness and enthusiasm as markers to go by. I wish men would back off. I believe in old-fashioned morals where sex should be special between people who care about each other. Does that still exist?

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Very interesting to read others’ experiences. I am envious of so many positive experiences when all of mine have been dreadful.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!

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