by Bad Movie
What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 32
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? DC
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Researcher
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Well That Happened
How long ago did this hookup happen? 11 Years
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Questioned if it was a booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? They were a friend that I knew through a previous girlfriend. I knew them for over a year but they were not local to me so I avoided any type of non-friendship relationship with them. I had a strong attraction to them, but was originally in a committed monogamous relationship when I met them originally. When I did ask them out on a date they were not even sure that it was an actual date because they had never been asked on an actual date before.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I asked them out on a date. They were coming to the area and I literally said, “I would like to go out on a date with you.” Two days before the date they asked if it was a date. We went to get food followed by the worlds worst movie for a first date movie. It was a foreign film about the evils of abortions and bell-bottoms. We ended up being snarky in the back of the theater through much of the movie until we leaned in and started kissing. Before the movie ended we decided to leave and head back to my place.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? When we got to my place we ended up making out. Then I went down on her and we ended up having vaginal sex. We were both really into it. She was a very good lover and was really into it. It went for over 3 hours until we were finally ready to go to bed. We were both shuffling the next day. We had talked previously about safe sex and when it got hot and heavy we knew a condom was being used for PIV sex, but we had not talked about a barrier method for oral sex.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was worried that the hookup was just a booty call. We hadn’t managed expectations well before hand. So we had a exception management discussion that was basically a “do we have labels/what are our exceptions discussion”
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Exchanged recent STI test results
What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I only talked about it with the hookup, my roommate at the time found out about it eventually but that was a different story.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Eventually I ended up marrying this hookup and we’ve been together for 11 years. I would still do it again.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The same thing as the BEST part of this hookup, AKA as marriage isn’t for weenies.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I had not planned on this hookup ending up in a long term relationship. It ended up being the best thing ever.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex may not end the way that you plan for it to end.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? There is a wide variety of exceptions for people and I appreciate the Casual Sex Project pointing that out.
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