What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 56
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Baltimore MD
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? photographer
What’s your current relationship status? I have other sexual partners that my wife knows about and tolerates. We have one other couple with whom we have a very close friendship and sexual relationship.
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Definitely heterosexual but not afraid of contact with another man’s cock. Even oral. Could not kiss a man and no interest in anal sex with a man, at all.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20-25
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none
Well THAT was fun
How long ago did this hookup happen? about a year ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Married. My wife was just starting to explore sex outside of our relationship. I would not call it an open marriage in that it just involves one other very close couple.
How would you best classify this hookup? Group sex
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Three heterosexual couples plus myself. All mid 40s to mid 50s. All attractive and fit and educated. And all interested in sexual exploration. I’ve been friends with one couple (man/woman) for many years. We’ve developed an intense 3 way sexual relationship over the course of the last 5 yrs. They moved to another city and I became remarried. I visited them on a regular basis for both the friendship and the sexual relationship. On this visit the woman arranged for a party and I rented a large suite in a downtown hotel. We met two other couples at the bar, to make sure all were comfortable. We were. We headed up to the room after an hour or so at the bar, sat on the balcony and smoked a little weed and talked some more. I liked all of them and was very gratified that they all found me a worthy addition to the group. The wife of my couple friend is petite, blonde, small breast, yoga instructor body, cute face. Incredible sexual energy. The others were average to attractive. One woman had breast implants, one didn’t. All fit and attractive.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The planning was basically as described above. We met in the bar of the hotel I was staying at. I had gone to town to meet my friends, who invited more friends (with my prior knowledge and permission of course). The wife of the couple I’ve been sexually connected to for years initiated it.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It began as a spontaneous pairing off. As the ‘single’ guy, I was not bringing anyone to the party so I was careful not to be too assertive, at least at first. But as the ‘new blood’ I found I was quite in demand and the husbands were all too happy let me have at it. There was the full range of basic sexual configurations. Oral sex, two men one woman, two women one man, oral, vaginal, some (female) anal, kissing, touching, talking and a lot of picture taking.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We played until well into the morning. Eventually the two ‘new’ couples left and my friends and I went to sleep. We woke in the morning to another round of very fun sex, breakfast, smoking, sex etc. Then we met one to the other couples at their place that night and had a more sedate but no less fun 5some. Just a really good, fun, high energy group of people. Love them all.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Sterilization
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react?
Only other members of the group, really. My wife knew Where I was and basically what i was doing but I did not go into detail.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The emotional and sexual connection to other people. The trust and warmth that was shared among all.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? nothing
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really. I have had group situations many times. This was the largest group. I am a big believer in the power of sexual connection.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? My wife is now open to sex with other people. Currently we have one other couple with whom we have an ongoing and very intense friendship and sexual relationship. I had tried to explain the power of the group dynamic but she was not inclined to participate until this other couple came into our lives. It’s been two years with them. It’s not without it’s complications but all in all a very satisfying experience.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think adults are and should be free to engage in whatever sexual endeavors feel right to them. The only caveat I have is that honesty has to be first and foremost. Sexual hangups are more a symptom of societal ills and religious restrictions borne of fear, in my opinion. Patriarchal suppression of sexuality is primarily a tool used to control women. Women’s sexual desire scares the hell out of a lot of men.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Not sure. Just read about you in NYT and thought it was interesting. I like the concept. Just hope it’s not too commercially exploitative.
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