What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 20
What’s your race/ethnicity? Mixed / Multiracial
What continent do you live on? North America
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 13
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
When You Fall For Your FWB/Customer
How long ago did this hookup happen? 7 months ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a super attractive navy guy. He was tall, brown hair, buff, pretty eyes with huge pupils, always in his uniform. I worked in retail at the time and he’d always buy cat/dog food. I’d watch him as he walked away and smile and giggle too much when I rang him up. However, I never gave him a thought after the workday ended, just how much I hated my job.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Like the third time I rang him up, he asked if I wanted to hang out after work, which I declined due to plans with a friend (which they cancelled), but I offered my number. He texted me and we’d have casual conversations for a couple days, get to know you/need to know stuff. “So how old are you?” (He asked me, I didn’t ask back at that time) “Were you doing dirty stuff… do you do dirty stuff?” cookie cutter get to know you things and slick “I wanna fuck you” stuff. But one night we were texting both under the influence and I sent him a picture to show off my tattoo’s, which involved lifting my shirt, he told me my leggings were cute and that he was having dirty thoughts and I asked him to tell me what they were. It was that he wanted to trade pics, we both sent pictures of us basically stripping, talking about what we’d wanted to do to each other.. to which he picked me up not even 10 minutes after (he sped I bet) and went back to his place.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He touched me a lot in the car (was awesome for minimal foreplay) nipple pinching, thigh rubbing, some kissing. When we got to his place he bent me over and bit my ass (like he said he’d do when we were sexting) and he bent me over and fucked me really…really roughly. Ass smacking, hair pulling, pushing my head down. Attempted anal, but I’m a person who needs mad warm up for that. (That was just the first time). It was the most satisfied I had felt in a while, I also particularly liked that I wasn’t the only one who made sounds (a lot of men in my past were pretty silent). Afterwards, he asked how old I thought he was, I gave an age way younger than I had thought I guessed like 23 or something, to which he replied thank you and joked that he was 45 to which I practically fell over. Then came in with, “I’m 30” which I really didn’t have a problem with, as sugar daddy jokes would be fun for me. But when this hookup happened, I didn’t pack anything, not my work shirt or anything for the morning so I had him take me back home that night. On the ride back I had mentioned that I was hooking up with others casually (Following the “rules” I thought I was supposed to, put yourself and them out as unimportant so you don’t give or get the wrong idea) and he asked if I had been tested. I answered yes and he confirmed that he had been also. We kissed goodnight and replied see you next time.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt awesome the next day and I was really excited I met someone I was so sexually compatible with. Hook-ups after just got way better than the first. He got rougher and more dominant, he’d have me ask for permission to give oral, he’d tell me how much he enjoyed it, he’d make me beg and I loved it. Thinking about us to this day still turns me on; I enjoyed sex with him so much I continued having unprotected sex with him. (Which was a weird thing for me, the first time was just ’cause we didn’t have a condom, but the sex was so good that I made an exception) It made me wanna doll up so he can mess it up, maybe compliment me. I just really freakin’ loved our arrangement, although it was always on his time so it’d pretty much be me waiting ’till he was available or in the mood since I didn’t have a car. But he at one point he had visited me, and taken care of me when I was sick. We’d talk about our lives, TV shows we loved and actors/actresses we found hot, our friends, what other sex stuff we wanted to do, pretty much everything. I lied to myself that I didn’t have a crush when I was developing one but I had such a crush, I thought he was one of the most attractive and funniest people I’ve ever met. So we texted, kept talking about how we wanted to continue this. What we’re into, what we’re good at, what we’re not into, what we wanted to do. Some things we had planned didn’t always involve sex, just each other’s company. (Playing video games, watching TV shows, I really got the idea that we were or could be good friends) I had realized over time that I had misread a couple things. At the time I was getting high all the time, so I saw that he said he was into dressing up to which he had said the opposite, and another time where I misread that he’d take me somewhere before we hung out. Whoops. As far as to talk about what we’re doing, it was pretty much the classic, “I’m not wanting to be in anything serious.” I expected someone to have sex with and to also be somewhat affectionate with–to sleepover, cuddle, and cum a lot. A relationship without a relationship. I hoped that it would go on for a while, although my feelings changed. I went from trying to follow FWB rules to trying to be the best friend I could without even realizing it, hell it even seemed like he liked it so I kept doing it. I hoped that when/if there were thoughts of ending, one of us would be straight up, and that I wouldn’t catch feelings (I did). I still like him as a person, even if I shouldn’t. I think a “military couple” comment about how our feet looked on the coffee table scared him away honestly. I kept talking to him even when I was being ignored, hoping that he’d end things with me, or come see me. But it never happened. The only exception was when someone I cared about died, he broke his silence and kept me company. After that the silence restarted, I just got told he may be moving soon. I ended up being the one to end it after weeks of being ignored. Couple months later I called pretty much saying I miss him as my friend, and he called back apologizing for treating me badly and that we couldn’t be friends. So we ended on honest terms at the very least. I’m over it now, but I really liked him.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, IUD (Intrauterine device), Exchanged recent STI test results
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, I was feeling lonely, Submission / Relinquishing power, Making new friends, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Just my best friend. Pretty much a: “Good for you.”
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How it was the best sex I’ve ever had, and how it felt like he cared about me after a while.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That they just went silent.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? If I want to have sex with no emotion, I should just have sex and leave, nothing else.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Don’t involve your close friends in your sex life because it just makes a bigger mess more than the pleasure is worth.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex can be a really healthy sexual outlet. Keyword: CAN. I’d like to see people really being more straight up about exactly what’s wanted and expected, and more conversation on “What if’s”. Catching feelings is common and needs to be addressed more. It made me learn I need to speak up more in the beginning or during, rather than afterwards when things go the way you try to avoid.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s awesome to anonymously share sexual stories like this, for people who’ve gone through it to have someone to relate to and for people who’ve never been through anything like it to have multiple perspectives.
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