by Aylin

Gender: Female
Age: 25
Race/ethnicity: White
Current location: Austria
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Looking for a new job
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Roman Catholic
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? More than 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Why Did We Stop Doing It?

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 weeks

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friends-with-benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I know him since I was a little child. I went to kindergarten and school with him until the age of fifteen. Already in kindergarten I was in love with him. When we went to different schools at the age of fifteen we didn´t have a lot of contact and I wasn´t interested in him any more. When I started studying at the age of 20 he started to contact me regularly. I wasn´t thinking about him at this point of time, there were some other boys that were quite more interesting than him. It was nice to meet and talk, but I never thought that he would be really interested in me. He was very good looking and every girl was looking after him. Although I was very self-confident and already had some experience in hooking up, I never thought that he would hook up with me. Nevertheless we started a “friends-with-benefits” relationship. I stopped it after two years because I met my now ex-boyfriend. During my relationship with my ex-boyfriend I stopped the contact to my kindergarten-love and we didn´t meet anymore.
I was in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend for three years. When the relationship came to an end, my kindergarten-love started to contact me again. I think I was sending some subconscious signals to the men´s world when I was single again. I started to think about the sex we had in the past and I really wanted to get in bed with him again. I think after text messaging late at night and flirting we both knew that it´s going to happen again.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? On a Saturday evening there was a party going on in our neighbor town. My kindergarten-love and his friend invited some friends over to their house for predrinking. I was very excited when I saw him there and I was dreaming about him taking my hand and bringing me to his bedroom. But unfortunately my dreams didn´t come true at that moment.
We were drinking alcohol and talking at their house and afterwards we all went to the big party in our neighbor town. After all the text messages of the last days and weeks I was quite sure that he wanted the same like me – to hook up – but he didn´t know how to start.
It was four o´clock in the morning when I went home and wrote him a text message if we would see each other before I go to bed. He immediately answered and told me that he was also on his way home and asked if I wanted to come over to his place. I went to his house and waited for him. He arrived a little bit later. We entered the house. He seemed a little bit nervous. We went to his room where he put on some music. It took some time until the ice was broken. When we finally started to kiss it felt like in the past. It was so easy and it felt so good. I was exhilarated. I couldn´t wait, I wanted him so much. He started to take of my clothes.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He carried me to his bed where we continued kissing and taking off our clothes. I wanted to feel him and my sexual excitement was endless. I think he knew that I wanted it immediately, but he rather enjoyed to torture me and kissed and touched me everywhere. I was lying on my back and he was above me when I was hoping that he would penetrate me immediately but he continued his torture.
I was moaning because of my sexual pleasure. It felt incredible when he started to penetrate me. He was moving slowly and I enjoyed every part of his body. I tried to keep my feelings down, but I couldn´t. It was too good and it was everything I wanted at this moment. A big explosion took place in my body when I had my first orgasm. My body was shaking and I couldn´t control myself anymore. It was unbelievable and I was grabbing some fresh air.
We continued our amorous play and changed positions. I enjoyed riding him and had some more orgasms. I love that I can be myself when I am with him. I love my body and thus it is easy for me to be with a man and I really like to show them that I am self-confident. It is so much fun. In between he did it orally to me, using his tongue and fingers. It felt so good.
Already in the past we didn´t talk about sex. Everything that ever happened between us in bed was good and we both had fun. There is this certain chemistry. We don´t have to talk, we somehow know what each other likes or we show it each other by guiding each others hands and bodies.
After having sex in different positions and multiple orgasms for me we stopped our love play because he said that he won´t come because of the alcohol. We were exhausted and fell asleep next to each other.
In the morning after waking up we were cuddling. I liked it, it was like in the past between him and me. He was lying very close to me and his hand covered my body. I couldn´t lie next to him without thinking of his trained body and having sex again. So we started to kiss each other and a few minutes later we were having sex again. We changed positions, did some breaks, I had some orgasms. It ended when I was lying on my stomach because I teared a muscle in my neck. First he only gave me a massage with his hands on my back and then he penetrated me with his penis in my vagina. We both had an orgasm.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I had several orgasms when we had sex at night after the party and the next day in the morning. He had an orgasm in the morning when we had sex a second time.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I told him that I do not take the Pill at the moment and that I have some condoms in my bag, but he said that he also has some condoms and I do not have to bother. We used condoms.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? So far I had the best sex in my life with him and that was the main reason why I wanted to see him again and hook up with him again. He is good looking, I trust him and he has no girlfriend. I can be myself when I am with him.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Yes, we had some drinks at the party. I was a little bit tipsy. In the past we often had sex without having alcohol, but I think this time it was necessary because we were both a little bit nervous after this long time not having sex.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? It was already lunch time when we stood up. We put on our clothes and he said he would bring me home, but I decided to walk home. It was strange to kiss him goodbye because I never know where to kiss him – lips or cheeks.
I felt happy because I had great sex. And I was hoping that we can continue this casual sex thing. I was worried a little bit because I didn´t know what was going on in his life. And he knew somehow that I had a boyfriend and after three years a lot of things changed. I don´t know how he is feeling now about us and a “friends-with-benefits”-relationship. I think we should talk. I don´t want a relationship at the moment and three years ago he was that kind of man that never ever wanted a real relationship – he always wanted to have fun, enjoy his life as a single.
We didn´t see or write each other for two weeks after this night. So I started to text message him and I tried to tell him very obviously that I want to see him again for having sex. But most of the time he said that he had no time and I don´t know what´s the real reason for his reaction. Next time when I see him I want to talk to him and make clear what we both want or don´t want.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my female friends what happened. I was very excited and told them a lot of details. Those friends already know him from stories of the past and how everything started years ago. And before I hook up again with him, I already talked about it and said that I was dreaming of it. They enjoyed listening to the story.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes, it was obvious that we both wanted the same.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No, I don´t regret it.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing about this hook up was that I had great sex. I never had great sex like that with anybody else, it´s the chemistry between us.
The worst thing is that three weeks later we still didn´t meet again and I don´t know what is going on with him.
This hook up didn´t change my way of thinking about casual sex. I think when both want it, they should do it. But I realized that I changed a little bit. When he and I were friends in the past and started to hook up, I was in love with him a little bit and dreamed of being his girlfriend, but as I already said he didn´t want to have a girlfriend. Now that I just broke up with my ex-boyfriend I see things differently and want to have fun and I´m not in love with my kindergarten-love anymore. I want to meet, go out, enjoy life, have fun and have casual sex. But somehow I´m afraid that I could fall in love again. And after such a long time things could have changed, maybe he is now looking for a girlfriend.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

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