What’s your gender? Trans man
How old are you? 26
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? UK, London
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Officer of Special Investigations
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 22
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
Winter in the South
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2014
What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Tall blonde with a Scandinavian accent. I just met them online. Saw them on and off only once a week in the evening for three months. Cautious before hookup.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The pub. We both expected it. They instigated the whole thing.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Oral, vaginal, penetrative, role-plays, whipping, binding, humiliation, domination and submission.
Felt new and exciting, everything was vanilla before this encounter. They were very aloof and cold before and after sex. Great sex. The hook ups ended when neither of us instigated again.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Felt emotionally unwell after the hookups. I didn’t want to bring my emotions into it so I ghosted. I actually don’t feel too good about them.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Power / Dominance, Submission / Relinquishing power, Making new friends
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one. I had no friends at the time.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Very much
Why do you regret this hookup? Feelings.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Complete trust and vulnerability. Amazing sexual chemistry.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The empty mornings after.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. I’ve realized I’m emotionally insecure with new people.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? No.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? It’s made me more confident as an adult and more accepting of change. I think it can be positive and make people reflect and grow on their experiences/relationships with others. Exploring their body with someone who makes them feel good.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting reads.
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