by Bill


Gender: Male
Age: 51
Race/ethnicity: white
Location: Massachusetts
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Business
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Maybe 20
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Winter Sauna

How long ago did this hookup happen? Three years ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Fuck-buddies

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met her through a mutual friend at a bar. I was a few feet away from them when she told the friend that she had ended a relationship and really needed to have sex without attachment. “I’d be happy to help with that, sweetheart,” I said. I was joking, sort of. She was about 15 years younger, with a great body and a beautiful smile. I wasn’t dating anyone and I was interested for sure.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The following week she emailed me on Facebook and asked if I wanted to go to a sauna with her. We met there, took our clothes off, and went in; several other people, men and women, were there. It was winter and there was an area outside for cooling off, and we were both out there at one point, but nothing happened except some small talk and a chance to check her out. From there we went to my house and talked for almost an hour and had some wine. Then we went to bed.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It was amazing. She made love with her whole body, in a way I had never experienced before. We kissed and had oral sex and then fucked for a very long time. Hours, actually, because we finally realized it was 4:00 am. I felt totally connected to her. That was surprising.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We discussed and decided we didn’t need anything.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Lust. The need to connect. Feeling flattered that she sought me out.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Just a couple glasses of wine each.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Well, it became a thing. I didn’t want a relationship with her (it’s complicated) and she wasn’t in a place to have one, so we had sex, twice a week, for several months. One time she told me she almost came as soon as she walked into my house. She told me I was her dream lover. But after several months she told me she had slept with a woman and wasn’t interested in me or any other man anymore. It was funny, and a nice way to lose the connection, but I was sad to let go of the great sex.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Mostly male friends, married ones, who were kind of jealous, so I had to shut up about it.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Not at all. It was healing for both of us, and quite lovely.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was how she was totally present in bed with her whole self. It was absolutely sexy. Also, she squirted, which was fun. The worst was maybe doing a lot of laundry. But it did help me enjoy sex outside of a relationship, which was helpful — not that I’ve been seeking out casual sex, but just to avoid getting too attached too quickly.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

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