What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 27
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Health Insurance business
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? not sure
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
7 Months in the Making
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Long awaited on my end, brief fling/booty call for him
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I found him thru social media last November. I became obsessed with him. I wanted him. He absolutely gorgeous. A successful British model with piercing blue eyes and a crooked smile that made me melt. As many of his photos left very little to the imagination, you can imagine how perfect his body is too. And he’s also fully Deaf. Which just made him even more intriguing. I had sent him a few messages over Instagram, some of which he replied to, some of which he didn’t. A month later, I found out he was going to be in a town about 2 hours from where I live, so I asked him if I could meet him for a drink. I lied to him. Told him I was already there so I wouldn’t look too desperate. He said sure. I drove two hours out there after work that night, only to have him never show up because we had never actually made a real plan. I knew at that point it was a lost cause. But little did I know that six months later I would be having much more than drinks with him.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was living abroad in Italy when I found out that his soccer team was going to be having their championships just three and a half hours south of where I was living. I decided to sponsor him which led to me being able to come meet him and watch him play. I took the train to where they were playing and walked from the train station to the field. I was so nervous. This would be the first time I would be seeing him in person. And there he was, standing on the bleachers, while all the other guys were out preparing for their game. Apparently he had been suspended. I went up to him, gave him a hug, and chatted a bit. He had known I was coming as we had started messaging eachother about two weeks or so before. So there I was, being ignored for the first 45 minutes while he was standing there yelling and cheering all the players. Finally, we made eye contact and I went over to him and we started talking. I had to be patient as he was a bit had to understand at times being that he’s Deaf. And vice versa. A few minutes later I was very surprised to find him overly flirting with me. He began squeezing my leg, grazing my breasts, touching me under my shirt while I wasn’t looking. If it had been anyone else, I would have thought how perverted that was, but it was him. HIM. The guy I had been dreaming of forever it seemed. After the game he began getting extremely physical and telling me how much he wanted me. I had never experienced anything this aggressive and open before. And then he kissed me. Everyone else around us could see us and it was very embarrassing but I didn’t care. It was wonderful at the same time. He told me to come to his hotel the next day…..and I did.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The next day I took a taxi to his resort and I saw him walk into reception. We walked outside, past the pool (and his mum…awkward!), to his room. Checked to make sure no one was in there. He proceeded to walk into the bathroom and turn the shower on. I still have no idea why because we had only 20 minutes. Why would he be taking a shower? Anyways, I grabbed him and we started making out and he pushed me up against the wall. He took off his shorts and I took off my clothes, except for my shirt. We had sex right there in the bathroom. He put the toilet lid down and sat me on his lap and we continued like that for a bit while I held him and bit his shoulder. Eventually we ended up on the bed and everything went by so fast. At one point he went down on me for a few seconds and then put himself in my mouth for a few seconds as well, until we went back to having normal sex, with him on top of me. I remember looking into his blue eyes and pulling his hair. It felt like a dream. I had wanted this forever and now I was getting it. I rolled him over so I could be on top and while I was riding him, he told me had to go meet his teammates for lunch and that we could come back and finish after. I went to get my pants off of he bathroom floor and they were soaking wet. The entire bathroom floor was flooded because he never turned the shower off. So there I was with soaking wet jeans walking back out to the pool in front of his mum. Everyone knew what had just happened. It was so obvious. After lunch, he came and found me on the sunlounger and laid there with me for a while before heading back to the room. This time, one of the guys was there so we weren’t able to continue having sex. And then the coach came and we got in a lot of trouble. He told me I needed to leave. I honestly didn’t care. It was so worth it.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After having sex with him, I felt amazing. So amazing that I didn’t even know how to process what had just happened so I resorted to drinking myself silly and passing out by the pool for a few hours. I really wanted something more with him. I honestly would have married the guy right then and there…..maybe. But I knew he was no more than a player and I knew I probably wouldn’t be getting anything more out of him. I was able to see him the next day and say a proper goodbye. My gut told me this would be the last time I would ever see him. I wanted to leave on a high and this was the perfect opportunity. I had the closure I needed and I called a taxi to take me to the train station. It was all so surreal and bittersweet. Of course, I heard from him a couple times after but then he just quit responding. Not surprised at all by someone like him. I’ve moved on….or have I?
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Thought it was an important experience to have
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My friends all knew. They were really surprised/impressed that I finally got this guy! They had all told me my chance of meeting his was low at best, let alone getting intimate with him.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I got what I wanted! Finally!
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? How short it had to be.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Hasn’t really changed anything.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? First time with a Deaf guy! And amid claims that Deaf people are loud in bed, he was VERY quiet.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I don’t like casual sex nor do I endorse it. I think too many people have made sex so that it isn’t special anymore. My case was an exception because I had waited so long for this person.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s interesting. Not really sure how I feel about it.
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