Race/ethnicity: European decent
Current location: Maui
Highest education received: High school diploma
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Spiritual
How religious are you? Very
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 8
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
A Little Less Love, And a Little More Common Decency
How long ago did this hookup happen? Last night
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Sex with this dude I know
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s a good looking guy my age who I’ve known since I was pretty young, we were never super close, but just have been in the same school and stuff like that. We started heavily talking at chat and text more then a year ago, would talk about sex a lot and agreed we would hook up, we talked all the time and try to make plans but it never worked, we’d sext a lot and send pictures. Hooked up a couple times within 2014, the last time we had sex , he was plastered drunk, but we were getting it on, so awesome I was so horny, hadn’t had sex in a number of months , I gave him TWO blow jobs , I was expecting sex after of course but he passed out drunk . Long story short I was pissed and offended, this is a whole separate story that is important to this current one . But he wouldn’t even fuck me in the morning wouldn’t even move, I left, he didn’t even contact me, I texted him asking if we were cool no response, whatever.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was at his house. I had texted him, a mutual friend of ours expressed that it would be good to talk cause he was pretty neutral about me, contrary to my beliefs. I texted him and said I wanted to break the ice. We realized we were very close he now living down the road. I said why don’t we meet and catch up, might as well. We talked it was nice he told me about his life told me about some girl who had kinda hurt him. He wants to finish his movie he started before he picked me up, I really don’t want to watch the middle of a movie, but figure he’s using it as an excuse to make a move on me. He makes no move, even says he’s sorry for accidentally brushing my leg. I instigated it by saying he didn’t have to be sorry and touching him back. We move to his bedroom.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It was really hot, he was hard right away. He wanted to fuck me right there but I told him he had to make me wetter then I could take him inside of me. He ate me out pretty intensely, I told him I wanted to do him, he seemed to like it, but could tell I was getting really horny, then he just took me and fucked me. I felt good during it really sexy, had a hard time staying quiet so his landlord didn’t hear. It ended with me completely comatosed, we joked about how the landlord probably heard us. Didn’t cuddle much, he wanted a cigarette so we went outside.
Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? Yes I had multiple during sex, not oral. And he had the one.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used a condom. We didn’t discuss STIs. But after we did talk about pregnancy and parenthood in general unrelated to our sex act that just happened.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I had been thinking about clearing the air between us. Plus I knew I could probably get sex, and I was feeling kinda bummed that the guys I hook up with hadn’t called me in weeks, just wanted to feel cared about plus he’s a cool guy and I wanted to rekindle our friendship.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No, I mean I smoked a bit of pot but that’s usual.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? There was a party I had planned on going to. I felt pretty jazzed after sex and wasn’t really tired, he gave me a ride then he decided to come in and say hi. He stayed for about an hour since he had work the next day, but the way I felt was just lame straight up. Super distant, would not interact with me. One armed hug when he left, I said I’d walk him to his car he said nah, but I wanted to, he barely kissed me good bye. I really like him, I know it’s not going to go anywhere with him, which is the case with all my dudes I see. That realization was starting to hurt. No one cared about me.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I didn’t have to say much to some of my girlfriends, they just saw him and me and knew what went down. They reacted with high fives, winks, and praise. Everyone’s really positive about it. I also talked to my best friend after the party. I cried in front of him, it was really intense for me I usually have a hard time expressing these types of feelings. He was great, really nice to talk to him.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yeah consent all the way
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I don’t know, not really I loved the sex. I’ve just been having mixed feeling about all the casual sex I’ve been having. I love it, but I wish people weren’t so cold. I know they do that so I don’t think it means anything, but that doesn’t mean they have to treat me like I’m not even their friend.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The sex, and the fact that we are “cool”. Worst is definitely the way I feel afterward. Not so much guilt or anything. Just emptiness and confusion. I love being so sexually liberated, but it’s not easy when every guy tries so hard to be stoic after sex. It happens all the time, and last night was just a tipping point in it all. It really made me reflect on the hookup culture and relationships. It was just depressing.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? All I can do is quote Kurt Vonnegut to really summarize it: “a little less love, and a little more common decency”
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