by Margot

Gender: F
Age: 21
Race/ethnicity: White
Location: NYC
Highest education received: High school diploma
Occupation: Waitress
Relationship status: In a relationship
Religious affiliation: I believe in God
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 14
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

A Long Time Ago, In a Far Away Place

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 years ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friends with one night of benefits…

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Jesse was a friend of mine from high school. Not that great of friend, but we were at the same high school and went to the same parties. I knew him a few years, I only sort of remember one non- surface level conversation I had with him, but it was just about the ways in which people change or something. Later that night we had to crash on the floor at this party and he put his hand on my hip and then I took his hand and put it on the ground.

I remember him irritating me because he would flirt and hit on every single girl around, including myself. When he tried anything with me I shut it down pretty quick, so he stopped. Other girls had problems with that though, so he would linger around them and they would tell me funny stories about their encounters with him. 

My best friend ended up really liking him. They hooked up for a while and she told him she liked him, but he told her that he sees himself more as a ‘free bird’. That’s actually what he said! That gives you an idea of what we’re dealing with here.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I’m from Louisiana, but always planned on moving to New York City after high school. After I graduated I got a job at a daycare and I spent my first paycheck on a ticket to New York City for a weekend. One of my favorite bands was playing and my friend said I could stay with him for it.

Turns out Jesse was passing through the city at the same time, so I told him about the show and I met up with him at the venue which was Terminal 5 and it was awesome! After the show we just bummed around, got someone to buy us beer and looked for a place to go drink it. We found some dock off of the Hudson River, crawled over the little gate thing, and sat on the edge with our toes dipped in the water. I think he just kissed me after a while. I mean it makes sense I guess. It was dark, no one was around, and we were hard to see, it felt pretty private.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We’re making out and our clothes come off, I think he fingered me first and it was terrible, just rough, like not sensual at all. Then he goes down on me, same story but it wasn’t rough, just blah. I have no romantic feelings for this dude at all, but besides that we didn’t have any sexual chemistry obviously.

I sucked his dick for a sec and then he tells me to ‘C’mere’ or something, so then we have sex and he’s like going at it; I’m just kind of there.

Then it ends and we put our clothes back on, I turn to see if we were really by ourselves that whole time, and there was a homeless person sleeping kind of close by so that was really nauseating to think about. Then we walk back up to catch a cab and he tells me that he likes me! He tells me i’m the kind of girl he actually would like to be with and I’m shocked. He puts his arm around me in the cab and I tell him I see myself more as a ‘free bird’. That’s not what I actually said though.

The whole thing never really came up with my best friend…

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? He had a condom with him. Also I was on birth control at the time. We didn’t discuss anything I don’t think.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? If there was a reason that it happened, the reason is that we were alone on a dark and secluded dock after an awesome Fidlar show with our toes in the River through a city that both of us only happened to be in at the same time. It was just kind of random and happened!

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Well right after it happened he was being affectionate and I was not into that. When we both got back home we didn’t really talk, I saw him about as frequently as I had before. We almost hooked up another time and then I called it off…

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I only ever mention it in those conversations where people ask about the crazy places you’ve had sex, or the crazy things you’ve done!

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yeah!

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? The whole thing wierded me out for a little while immediately afterwards, but when I look back on it now I see that it was a part of a grander experience/ lesson I was learning at the time.

If we had just had more chemistry, it would have been really fun!

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The sex was bad, Jesse wasn’t the most charming guy, but the act of it was fun and exciting and maybe it was only him that it would have happened with.

In theory I like the idea of hook ups a lot if you’re safe about them. It taught me about what I do and don’t like, it taught me about what other people are like, and it was empowering to learn these things, and feel in control.

However, for me casual sex started to feel like it was always going to be at someone’s expense. Maybe it’s just bad luck, but every casual sexual encounter I’ve had, I either disappointed them afterwards or they disappointed me.

Except for my current boyfriend, after our first casual sexual encounter we BOTH liked each other, yay!

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative


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