What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 35
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? Africa
What country and/or city do you live in? Nigeria
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Researcher
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Adventurous
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 48ish
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
A Night to Remember
How long ago did this hookup happen? Two months
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? A beautiful slim lady with a body to die for, especially when she is putting on jeans. We work for the same company but in different states, there was over 200 kilometers between us. Well, the first time I saw her, work brought her to my town and we were in the same training ground for all of ten days but never really got to meet her one on one. About three weeks later, work took us to another state over a 800 kilometres from my state, that put her’s at over a 1000 kilometres.
We still didn’t get to say much to each other or get to know ourselves, not until the last day in that town, when we met at the bus station and I hit at her straight that I wanted her and never had the chance to tell her until then. We exchanged numbers and she said I had to earn a place for myself. We traveled in the same bus but could only chat on WhatsApp because we sat at different seats.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We kept chatting afterwards until one day, I sent her a nude picture of me and that was the defining moment. She wanted a hook up and our chats took a different direction.
Up till that moment, I didn’t tell her I was married and she didn’t suspect that because she calls at ‘odd’ times and my phone is always on vibration so I don’t pick her calls if the coast isn’t clear at my end. I didn’t want her coming to my town because I didn’t want to put her at any risk of having to travel the distance so I told her I was coming to her town even though she was more that willing to make the journey.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I checked into a hotel and gave her the address, she took a while to come over due to the fact she had some work to finish up at the office even though it was a Saturday. I had condoms ready but when she came, the moment she stepped through the door we started making and out and clothes were flying.
I wanted her to freshen up but she wouldn’t hear of it, she took us to they bed and wanted me in her, I wanted to get the condoms but she wanted us skin diving and I went with it, wished I had a firmer resolve to play safe. We started in missionary position and I went slow deliberately because I wanted it to last and the memory to be worth a keep. I finished inside her shortly after she climaxed and we laid down besides each other catching our breath.
We talked a lot about ourselves, our past relationships and generally got to know ourselves better. I apologized for not telling her I was married but she was cool with it and asked why I had to keep that fact away from her. She asked to know if she hasn’t put me in ‘trouble’ with her calls.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We spent the night together, made love three more times that night and once in the morning but I couldn’t cum because I had to leave very early to met up with a family function back home. She was asking to know when next we will be hooking up but I wasn’t forthcoming with an answer. I believe we might still have a go at it again but I am not pursuing it. I like her a lot, she is a very loving person, a great listener with a good sense of humour.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), To feel more desirable
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Only the lady I had an affair with ( The WhatsApp Connect story). We have grown to become very ‘close friends’ that we share our other life stories as the happen. I discretely sent a picture of the lady to her that night.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How willing she was to go the whole distance in such a short time.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not taking precaution.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Casual sex is fun but caution should be exercised at all times.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? She kind of expected more than I am willing to put into it. We have sort of grown apart unlike the built up to the hook up.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Its liberating to get to share intimate moments with persons you wouldn’t otherwise get to know in that regards.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? A great place to unbundle one’s secrets without fearing a backlash.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!